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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Father

5 replies

Eirianbach · 19/06/2023 11:56

Hi

Myself and my husband have two children aged 6 & 8. We try to visit my father once a week, usually on a Saturday. We visited him last Saturday and it unfortunately led to an argument. He expects us to give him a precise time when we will be there to fit around his meal times bearing in mind that he is retired and has no other commitments. My son was at a local beavers district day on Saturday and we had to park our car a fair distance away and walk a single track to get him. When we got back home understandably he was hungry. I texted my father to say that we will be late cause our son wanted food. No reply we turned up at his house and he started having a go that I always say that I'm coming at such a time and don't turn up and that I know that he has his meal at a specific time. I told my husband and children that we were going. He is a controlling father anyway but I have tried to explain that's its difficult just getting out of the house with children. He thinks that I am now going to punish him as usual by not allowing him to see the children. I'm not going to do this at all but I am 44 and I'm not going to allow him to control me as he has been. He has fallen out with my brother cause he has told him not to hold my son up side down and said that is now our fault cause it should have been myself or my husband who should have told my brother!!He has now told me that me and my brother is out of his Will which I don't care about because that is the last bit if control he has left on me.

Any advice would be grateful received.

OP posts:
Seaoftroubles · 19/06/2023 12:19

You say he was a controlling Father, well nothings changed! I would be going very low contact as visits sound fraught due to his rigid attitude. Re your brother, meet up with him separately from your Father to minimise any chance of manipulation.

Eirianbach · 21/06/2023 21:12

I'm just unsure how I can include him as part of my children's lives while protecting myself from his criticism and control

OP posts:
Raindropsarefallingheavily · 21/06/2023 21:14

Why the hell are you offering up your dc to such a man? Christ op keep them away!

BeverlyHa · 08/07/2023 10:08

there is nothing you can do but pray for him if you are a believer

Startofit · 08/07/2023 22:12

BeverlyHa · 08/07/2023 10:08

there is nothing you can do but pray for him if you are a believer

You bumped this thread just to push your religion?

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