how do I get over the guy I’m having an affair with and love my partner?

[Notmollybutdolly]

sorry For long post..I just need to let this go.

ive been with my fiance 7 years. We have a 3 year old. She is the absolute light of our lives.

in the past he’s messaged girls (once or twice) but nothings came of it. I found a video of him wanking over a pic of a girl he was seeing 10 years ago. Anyway we worked things out and things have been up and down. But we haven’t had sex since our child was born.

i cheated on him late last year and started an affair with the guy, who had just been cheated on by his fiancée. We met up and had the most mind blowing sex on many occasions and had this mad chemistry I’ve never had with anyone before. Last time we met was in April. We used to talk a lot on the phone and text. Now it’s just sporadic snap chats. He’s just been away on a guys holiday and seems to have went quiet.
i messaged him last night to ask:is it the end of our journey together, and he replied saying ‘nothings ever over’
my fiancé and I have been getting on well but as friends. I know he loves me and wants a sexyal relationship but I’ve told him I don’t. I want us to co parent as I do love him but I just can’t imagine being physical with him. We’ve never had a particularly sexual relationship since we got together but with the other guy it’s like an animalistic part of me comes out with no inhibitions.
im just wondering what to do.
the other guy - how do I get over him?
fiance - how do I love him like how he deserves to be loved?
im so torn. I feel like the other guy doesn’t want anything which is fine but I just can’t get over him. I’m obsessed with him.
please help me.

Wise up and bloody quickly.
You have a CHILD, it is not the time to fuck about.
If you don't love your fiancé, then end it but the other bloke is just using you. I'm guessing that you probably don't want to be on your own either though?
Think carefully, be honest with yourself and others. There's a lot at stake.

All the best op

You have a CHILD, it is not the time to fuck about.

This

This isn’t rocket science, the relationship with the father of your child is over and has been over for some time. Secondly, there really is no excuse for your behaviour with regards to the OM.

If you loved him then you would not be doing this to him. The kindest thing you can do is leave him before he find out and you really break his heart and trust because you are going to have him in you life forever due to your DC.

I think that sometimes life throws us things that we don't expect and sometimes catches us off guard.

You said "in the past he’s messaged girls (once or twice) but nothings came of it. I found a video of him wanking over a pic of a girl he was seeing 10 years ago." This must have been hard for you. Should you have walked away then? Maybe, but you did not and now you are here.

I don't think you should be being put down on here as none of us are living your life. If you want a chat, feel free to contact me, I am happy to listen and if I go shouted at on here for saying this, then so be it.

Nobody is perfect and we are all human and sometimes get a little lost in life. If you are perfect and have never ever done anything wrong in life, feel free to comment on my post. It is only my opinion and not to be confused with those of others.

I am happy to listen and if I "get not go" shouted at on here for saying this, then so be it.

End your relationship and be single. You're not happy where you are. You've only got one life and so have your other half and child.