My partner and his ex cannot communicate. She is accusatory and condescending. He is defensive, childish and obstructive.
We had a chat group together to keep the three of us in the loop regarding their 2 DC as we have 50/50 childcare.
Eldest DC decided they hated being at her house.
There's multiple reasons - super rural location, very poor Internet so gaming/chat online doesn't work/missing their step sibling as they are best mates... but ultimately, this DC blames their mother for the breakup of the family and doesn't want to be around her.
DP has tried to support child as they said they'd run away or kill themselves if forced to go there. So we talked to DC, allowed them to stay here etc We communicated with his mum but her interpretation is that dad is driving a wedge between her and DC and influencing DC. He's not.
In the past week the communication between the parents has fallen apart. I've been the conduit as he refuses to speak to her.
During a phone conversation, she said "I'm getting so desperate I'm thinking of going to court to get full custody" my response was "hmm, as DC is 13 it's unlikely that a judge will not listen to their wishes. I think you'd be causing more issues in the long run and it's unlikely you'll get the outcome you want" she agreed and the conversation moved on.
I've worked bloody hard to keep the peace for DPs children and my own whilst he's buried his head in the sand and refused to talk to ex.
Last night in general conversation I mentioned that she'd raised the full custody point and I'd shut it down... she accepted that it was a bad idea. But DP absolutely flipped. Apparently I'm totally disloyal because I didn't tell him she said this immediately.
The fact I'm even talking to her at all is disloyal and I'm a horrible human being. And because I can't see what his issue is I'm a terrible person with no sense of morality...
It's absolutely bonkers but he's adamant that I'm in the wrong.
I don't think I am at all... I was the adult communicating regarding the children. I calmly pointed out that full custody was a bad idea and she accepted it and it wasn't mentioned again. I've got DC to agree to go to their mums tomorrow. I treat his children with the same love and care as I do my own.
He's being a dick isn't he? Or am I?