Name changed but am a regular here. Without being too outing I suffered an unexpected loss a few days ago so am feeling very vulnerable/emotional anyway.
Last night my daughter had a show we had to attend. I really wasn't in the mood but gathered myself and went and put a brave face on. On the way there we parked across the road and OH mentioned that there was a short cut to where we were going. On the way home from the show I started walking in that direction and he said the other way (original route we took) was quicker. I kept walking as it was difference of seconds. He kept repeating it and was getting more agitated. I said does it really matter and he called me a retard in front of the kids.
He gave a half hearted apology in the car and I told him what he said was disgusting and backward. Usually I'd accept the apology for peace. He kept badgering me for an apology and saying I was sulking. This went on to the point where the kids were telling him to drop it and leave it. He eventually did.
This morning he has apologised but I told him I've no doubt he is sorry but that his behaviour and reaction were extreme and that he needs to think about what he can do to prevent this happening again. I don't think he has the capacity to reflect. He kept saying I never listen to him. The decision to take the short cut was a 2 second decision on my part and I think it should have been a non event.
For context. He has ADHD and is always quick to anger but he can control his anger in work or social situations so I think he uses it as an excuse to behave badly.