Sexless relationship, then a separate thing ... His ex

[SharkSip]

I am with my partner for 6 years.

For the past 4 years, it's been sexless between us. It started off from his side when he used to avoid sex, rushing out of bed and any time we were together, he wasn't able to perform. I think maybe there is a death grip with him.

The sexlessness started from his side. I completely resent this now and I am angry too but my anger never exploded. I now get more enjoyment from doing laundry and cutting my toenails. My gay hairdresser is so much more better with his hands than my partner.

I just a had a quick look on my partner's Facebook. His ex seems to have moved on with a partner and baby now. I noticed she wrote a friendly birthday greeting to my partner and he responded thanking her too.
The thing is, they live on opposite sides of the country and so they wouldn't really see each other or have a life together any more and it would be years since they dated.

I just find it very strange - her greeting was too friendly. I think at this stage he and his birthday shouldn't be on her rador at all and they day probably should have passed her by.
I know for me I am useless at wishing people a happy birthday on facebook and days just pass me by. So I find it unually how his ex of many years, where they haven't seen each other in years, is still friendly with him.

I find it unusual and with the sexlessness between me and him, it has me thinking if there's something else more to it. Does he still have feelings for her?

People who use FB most days will have birthday alerts of all their ‘friends.’ TBH, I wouldn’t worry about this. The sexless issue does need to be worried about, however.

No I don’t think the two things are related.

But I do think you two need to separate. If you both still want to have a sex life, and you’re not having one with each other, it’s not a very good relationship especially because it makes you angry.

Really NOT unusual. It will come up on the feed as a birthday, particularly if a mutual friend commented. Saying happy birthday and thank you is pretty normal on FB. Hardly doubt she remembered and sought out. She's got a new baby to contend with.
This is a non- issue. The real issue is your own relationship with your partner.

Why have you stayed with him? You seem to despise him, so leave.

The birthday message is completely irrelevant.

Choose to be happy rather than resentful and suspicious.