Every date suppose to be perfect?

[clock87]

Hello

hope everyone is well.

I suffer from relationship anxiety and recently put myself back out there. I went on two dates with a guy which went well I really enjoyed his company. This got physical but in a positive way and I didn’t feel it soured anything, it was really just part of it

anyway our third date was a bit blah and I noticed he changed one of his pictures on his app before the third date. He said he had an awesome time and noted he was tired and so was I.

I just felt he was really huggy and kissy before, what I’m asking can there be off dates?

hes moving at the moment but let me know in what I felt was like we may need another place to hang out (prob mine) and he seemed down for that

i keep reading each date should be great and full of conversation

is that true?

Hi @clock87 i think there can be off dates. Just thinking back now when i was dating my DH omg i remember our first date was great, second was okish, third was great, fourth was terrible, fifth things picked up again.
I think just go with the flow, don't over think anything xx

There's a belief amongst some on here that the first year + of any relationship should be a period of unadulterated bliss where everything is perfect and heavenly...

Whereas dating and relationships should be fun, happy and affirming, the expectation of Disney-style perfection isn't helpful.

Looking back over my relationships and dating, a couple I felt were "perfect" at the start didn't persist as they were essentially able to be "perfect" because we were superficial and not really
being our real selves, drunk on a high of oxytocin and other love hormones.... whereas there were some rocky moments early in the days of the relationship that ended up being a 16 year marriage, precisely because we were real, but that enabled a deeper bond of trust and love to develop that formed the basis for a secure and strong marriage (albeit one that ultimately ended for other reasons 2 years ago).

So, in short, a less than perfect 3rd date doesn't mean much on its own... It may be a blip in the otherwise progression to a loving relationship, or it may be the start of when you realise you're not right together, just don't write it off because it doesn't fit a "Disney perfect" script

Whilst I agree with guineacup I’d not be impressed that someone’s shagging me but also clearly and actively looking (photo change)

That + and off date would make me ponder and maybe take a step back

Someone updating their profile after a date is a death knell.

Agree with previous posters. Updating his profile after you've been intimate indicates he is still actively looking.

Yes, despite what I wrote, that's not a great sign.

what I’m asking can there be off dates

This is like asking 'Can a film be bad?'

Yes. And it's up to you what to do about it. There are no rules. Some people are comfortable with a level of happiness that wouldn't be enough for others. Nobody can answer for you about what you need.

Anxiety comes when we think that life might throw us something we can't handle. If you make your own decisions about what you, personally, will or will not put up with, then you don't have to deal with 'What if xyz happens? How will I deal with it, how will I cope, what am I supposed to do?' etc, because you know that as soon as you are uncomfortable, you simply walk away.