I have a lovely little boy who is 9 months . Split with the dad when I was pregnant . We have been on / off , now permanently off. Had an awful pregnancy and maternity leave . Am back to work now and I am feeling so lonely.
The only one I really spoke to was my ex but he does not want me so I have taken a huge back seat from that . Work is not the same anymore .
I live at home and they help so much with my little boy, but I wish I could move out . I am saving for a mortgage and feel demoralised by the rates going up ( private rent is out of reach aswell ).
I am so jealous of those in marriages and relationships. I’ve somewhat fixated on my baby’s father ex wife . She cheated on him and now lives a lovely life . She was more of a priority for him during our relationship and in constant contact with him . I felt / feel inadequate in comparison to her .
Anyway this is just one big moan ( sorry ). Although there are some positives in life I feel like such a failure and I am struggling to get over my jealousy .
Any advice ?