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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I really wish she’d leave me alone

4 replies

Giraffestatuelady · 17/06/2023 15:07

We used to be connected via marriage but that was years ago. We were friends but I’ve realised over time that we have very little in common and she’s not a good friend. She’s cancelled on me at the last minute so many times over the years that I’ve lost count, and I know she does this to everyone in her life.

I’ve tried distancing myself from her for over a year now. Telling her I’m too busy to meet up, answering messages politely but bluntly without asking questions, never messaging first, sometimes even ignoring messages.

I’ve never ghosted someone before in my life but she can be very aggressive and goes from one drama to the next, so I know having an honest and direct conversation about why I no longer don’t want to be friends will result in a huge drama. She’s put details of so many fall outs with other people on social media in the past. I’ve been ghosted myself so I know how hurtful it is, but I don’t feel I have any other choice.

We no longer have any mutual friends because she’s fallen out with them all. I’d never keep pursuing a relationship with someone who so clearly doesn’t want one with me. I just wish she’d leave me alone and stop contacting me. Has anyone else been through this?

OP posts:
Skippingabeat · 17/06/2023 15:13

I'm of the opinion that ghosting toxic people is healthy. I've done it before, though very very rarely, and have never felt bad about it.

britespark1 · 17/06/2023 15:15

You have my sympathies. I have a similar friend. Tried the same things as you and she still keeps messaging me. I really wish she’d just leave me be.

Caledoniadreaming · 19/06/2023 15:45

In a similar situation to you at the moment, so you have my complete sympathy. I have archived her chats on WhatsApp, and deleted her number. Too much drama, and using something I told her as a "weapon" to force me to tell others, when quite frankly it's nobody's business.

I've removed myself from group chats with her in it, only keeping in touch with the people I want to stay in touch with, and to be quite honest, it's absolutely freeing.

Humidititties · 19/06/2023 16:04

Can you not just block her?

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