Father's day - partner doesn't get anything

[Jane881]

Partner of 16 months doesn't seem to get anything for Father's Day. He doesn't seem to bothered but I feel for him. Tbf I don't think he returns the favour to his ex on mothers day.

I tend to but my ex a little gift and card from my daughter. Ive bought chocolates and another small thing I was going to give to partner but not sure if it a bit odd 😂 he will be with me on the morning of father's day and then working. He said there's no plans for his kids to pop by after his work so just felt for him a bit. He's a good dad and has his kids half the time.
Yay or nay? 🤣

How old are his kids? How bothered is he about Hallmark days?

Are you in touch with the kids mum? Swing by and get the kids to sign the card and give it to him when he gets back?

He's put effort into hallmark days, from what I've seen, cards and gifts.

Ive never met the kids mum, I was just thinking of a little thing as a generalised father's day gift to show him some recognisation. Wasn't going to get a card. He's genuinely been a good role model for my daughter too since meeting him - I'd never send anything from her or mention her but it just got me thinking x

His kids are 15 and 9

At 15 and 9 they are more than capable of getting their dad a gift themselves, especially the 15yo. If you also want to buy him a wee something as a thanks for being good to your dd, feel free, but don't feel you have to make up for his actual dc if they do nothing.

At 15 and 9 if they wanted to, they would.

From your own daughter? Depends on the relationship. Does he do step dad type things or is he just your boyfriend? I'd maybe take him out for a meal in your shoes

No I meant I wouldn't get from her. Just stating he's very kind to her and been a good role model.

Yeah, I guess they are old enough to get something themselves if they wanted 😬

Can you remind the older one (has a phone?) and offer to help them get a card and gift? I just did it for years for my stepkids because I couldn’t bare my husband being disappointed.

Definitely do not contact the oldest to remind them or offer to help. It could make them very uncomfortable that they got put on the spot and could come across as interfering in the relationship.

Your boyfriend might not be happy about it either.

YABU. Not everyone is bothered by father's/mother's day. My FIL positively hated it and thought it unnecessary.

Respect his views and don't say anything to his kids.

Does he buy mothers day gifts and give them to his DC to give to their mum? I doubt it

Is he a good father?

If he has his kids half the time, maybe they have something to give him when they see him? Maybe he has them half a week to avoid maintenance.
Maybe he is a deadbeat dad and his ex couldn't be arsed.
Who knows?

I'd say Nay. He's not bothered, his kids aren't bothered and he doesn't bother for his children's mother on Mother's Day. The only person that is bothered is you.

Good on him it’s ridiculous commercialised shit

They are old enough to sort it themselves if they want to. You doing something on behalf of them - especially the 15 year old is cringe.

Tbf I don't think he returns the favour to his ex on mothers day. then this would be why. If he's not bought them up to make a big thing of these days that's his choice.

This