As background: DH has form for extensive porn use and scrolling through social media to look at women. We had a massive row about it a couple of years ago. He swears he's changed, deleted all apps etc. I constantly veer between mistrust and indifference, tbh, with the occasional dose of "pick me" thrown in. We have tried to work on our relationship. He says all the right things - tells me he finds me attractive, doesn't want anyone else etc. Mostly we get on well. We have a laugh, regular sex and flirt with each other, enjoy each others' company.
Today, adult DS's girlfriend was in our home and I watched, stunned, as DH openly stared at her breasts and down her top. He was trying to do this weird side eye thing but it would be clear to a blind man that he was clearly staring, DH not exactly known for being subtle. For some reason, this has completely tipped me over the edge. I am full of rage but I can't express it because he will deny, deny, deny. Obviously I don't expect DH to walk around with blinkers on. It's perfectly natural to notice people. But this was such a blatant gawp at her chest, coupled with the fact that she's likely to become our DIL (they are mid-20s and have had the conversation) that I actually feel a bit sick and angry that he would objectify her in this way too.
I'm sure some of you will tell me to give my head a wobble. And to be fair, if there wasn't the past history of seeking out younger women then I would be able to laugh and think "sad old git, you've got no chance!". But instead I just feel angry and also really pathetic and sad. I was about to type something about how I take care of myself with fitness, diet etc but then I thought that actually even if I didn't that wouldn't excuse him looking elsewhere.