OLD help and tips

[SamW98]

Fairly new to OLD after a lengthy marriage.

Originally joined Bumble last year and pretty quickly got chatting to a really nice guy, similar age but he lived 3 hours away. He matched as local because he said his company does work round my area and he comes down here every couple of months. To cut a long start short, he was a catfish and it put me off OLD.

Joined Bumble again in January then POF about 3 months ago but I literally get nothing. A few matches that don’t reply. The odd bloke I’ve chatted to for a few days then they disappear.

Any ideas or tips on what I can do to make OLD work for me?

Im over 50 but I look after myself, dress well, am very sociable and chatty. This is such a new world for me, maybe I just need a few pointers in the right direction.

Thank you for any thoughts

I've just turned 50 and found Bumble/tinder et to be a sobering experience. Anyone on there over the age of 45 has clearly lived a very hard life and it shows. I'm not interested in dating men who look like they are about to keel over so you either go younger (a bad experience for me) or stay in your age group with someone who looks as old as your dad. It doesn't get any better I'm afraid. I lasted 2 days on the apps and you won't find me on them again. Lord knows how I'll meet anyone. It's very depressing. I won't insult you by making inane statements like get a hobby/pet/volunteer etc. but it is very grim out there unfortunately.

Thank you for your honesty - that’s pretty much my experience as well.
I either get men my age who look older than my dad or young blokes after sex with an older woman. Any half decent ones my age are either looking for someone 10 years their junior or they’re players.

I socialise a lot but probably in the wrong places to meet men lol. I’m a big dance music and festival goer and most of the men there are ageing ravers who have seen better days.

I have started chatting to one the last couple of days who seems ok but don’t they all at the start.

I have been on Bumble for two weeks - a man - absolutely soul destroying. I am certainly no George Clooney but did think I would at least be able to get a few more matches!!! Have had a couple of conversations and was meant to meet up for a coffee with someone today who has just called off.

Not sure I have the appetite for it. Think it is hard for both men and women - hope you find your match though

This isn't my experience at all so maybe it's location dependent?

Loads of matches, loads of chats, dates but mostly they want another date and I don't. Also 50.

Are you sure you're swiping with people who are on the same 'level' as you? Objectively.

Nobody can tell you how to make anything work for you. You have to be yourself, entirely, and put yourself in places where that gets you what you want. If OLD isn't working for you, do something else. Plenty of clubs/hobbies/ways to pass time out there. Try everything; it'll be fun, and even if you didn't find anybody, it'd be a blast.

Who do you want to meet? What's he like? What would he be doing this afternoon? Where might he be doing it? Go there.

I have started chatting to one the last couple of days who seems ok but don’t they all at the start

If you're looking for someone who 'seems ok', raise your bar.

Tbf i found an old raver on Tinder (although we only discovered we both love trance and techo on our first date), and he's bloody gorgeous

Same. I am late 40s and it's a waste of time. All the decent looking guys are after younger women. I don't fancy the guys in their late 50s or early 60s. Moreover eventually I'd end up as their old age nurse! No thanks, the thought of it gives me the ick. So it's catch 22. Grim I'm afraid. I've had 2 spells of a few weeks on the apps, exchanged a few messages. Got the ones from the young guys trying it on (think late 20s) but no decent guys late 40s or early 50s.

I'm mid 30s but would say avoid POF and the swiping sites like Bumble and Tinder. I met my lovely DP on Hinge, we have a creepy amount in common. I also met some nice blokes on Match who didn't work out long term but were absolutely fine. I think these sites allow people to show more about themselves.

Write a thorough and positive bio and only bother with those who have done the same. Stick firmly to a travel.time limit unless you're genuinely happy to travel miles. I wasn't. No point wasting time on those that live 3hrs away in my view. Keep your age filters tight.

I think a combo of a decent app and being picky is what worked for me. Don't waste time on those you're not sure about. I dated for ages and nothing great came of any 'hmm... may as wells'.