Husband suddenly into his appearance and facial hair!!

[Ginandgardening]

My husband of 20+ years has suddenly started paying much more attention to his appearance and also letting his stubble grow/ growing a beard. A friend joked that he’s trying to impress someone as men grow facial hair when they want to appear more masculine. Now I’m worried he’s tempted by one of his lovely young work colleagues as he has started spending more time with them in a new role. He has no history of unfaithfulness. Is growing facial hair really a ‘thing’ when men want to appear attractive?! Should I be worried?

it's a trend but for some reason the head of hair can have a few distinguished grey hairs whereas the beard is decidedly grizzly. Makes me smile it isn't a great look. Clooney looks awful for instance.

Sometimes you take a critical look at yourself in the mirror and think 'Jeez...'

I did that, started dressing less slob, got a better haircut, and generally felt better about myself.

I don't do facial hair though.

Surely it depends on the beard whether it's aging?

Facial hair on young men is fashionable, a fashionably styled, properly cared for beard will not automatically be aging. Look at Graham Potter's "glow up" when he went to Chelsea. It might not have made him look younger, but it definitely made him more attractive/better groomed.

Even though before and after he was a fairly ordinary middle aged man.

Correct. Mostly it makes men look much older especially if they are also greying.
Also facial hair can look scruffy if not trimmed regularly.

Bloody hell, aren't you unpleasant?

Sigh. Quote fail. That's for the charmer describing women as washed out slappers, obv...

Oh disagree that it is lazy to have a beard, my DP has one and it permanently being trimmed, he has special shampoo and conditioner for it and beard oil etc.. ! 😂
I bloody love it. But then he looks like a Viking which is just fanny gallops.
On its own I wouldn't be too concerned!

He might just feel a bit put out by all the young guns at work so he’s trying to recapture some youth. I wouldn’t be overly worried, I’m sure the women in their 20s aren’t fawning over the old guy who is growing out his facial hair to cover his double chin.

But the way men have been described in here e.g troll is fine?
I can just imagine how a thread like this about women would go. As though it's not predominantly women making themselves look silly with changes to their appearance.

Is he weather in a high position ? Then the chances are higher. Some younger junior females will be impressed by his "power"

Um I didn’t say all men were trolls. And in context I asked if her husband was attractive enough genuinely she’d think “lovely young women “would throw them selves at him if he was “tempted”

and yes some men do look like trolls. Some are gorgeous. So?

*is he wealthy

And I said some women look like desperate slappers. And they do so?

It’s not very telling on its own.
He could be lazy or he could decide that he looks more mature and serious or sexy or more in trend with younger guys.
Have you asked/told him about the facial hair?

I didn’t call you out for it, but I get why you’re so defensive. What you wrote was mysogynistic and unacceptable. Trying to defend it by writing well someone said some men look like trolls is just making it worse

It's not necessarily a bad sign but it was the very first sign for me that his mind was elsewhere. A young woman he thought was very attractive was hired at his company and all of a sudden he started spending ages preening himself in the bathroom when he'd never really bothered before. It soon became an emotional affair then turned physical a few months down the line.

I would try and work on any issues in your marriage now if I were you (if there are any) and try and focus a bit on yourself too. If he's the type to cheat then nothing will stop him but at least you'll know it wasn't anything you did or didn't do that pushed him away.

Why is that worrying you, @Ginandgardening ? Usually a man can grow a beard if he wants, and his wife still trusts him. Is something else amiss?

Maybe he's aware that he is ageing and is just making a bit more effort?

Is he losing his hair? Sometimes balding men start growing facial hair.

DH grew a beard to hide the double chin which appeared post DC (by his own admission).... that and to potentially compensate for the growing bald patch (my assumption 🤣)

It's terrifying how many think a change in appearance means infidelity! By that theory I must have an affair every 3-4 months when I go see my hairdresser 😅

To All the Wives that Commented that the Husband must be cheating, or getting ready to Cheat because of a new beard;

How many of you Wives have, at least more than once, sexually exhausted your Husband?

I don't care if a Man has an unlimited supply of HRT or Viagra, if the wife is wearing him out at Home it won't physically able to perform for another Woman or cheat on you.

Plus, sexually exhausting him once in a while will keep drawing him back to you.

Don't believe me? Try it and report back.

This. Women would do it if it was an option

How old is the colleague and apart from growing the beard have there been any other signs or concerns? A beard in its own wouldn't worry me.

Well THAT intervention has made me laugh like a drain this morning 😂