Wedding queries

[Hyprom]

Hey, wanted your advice, as I’m not sure if I’m being over dramatic or emotional. My soon to be husband has a group of close friends, in this group there is a girl he had a crush on and met with her once. I’ve met her, she is a beautiful and great person.

The thing is, I’m a bit jealous, whenever we are meeting up. She is getting married in a couple of weeks and we got invited to the wedding, as her fiancé is my fiancé’s good friend. I told my soon to be hubby that I don’t feel comfortable going there, explained the situation. He said he understands that, but he will feel weird going there alone and a bit sad.

I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to swallow the jealousy, I’ve met with this couple around 4 times, to make my future hubby happy, but I know that in the future we will be meeting up more times when we will get married. I want him to keep in touch with his friends of course, just I don’t feel comfortable going to the wedding. How should I deal with that?

This girl is marrying the man she loves - which is not your fiancee. I think you need to go to the wedding with good grace.

She’s literally marrying a different man. What are you jealous of? If she and your fiancée wanted to be together then they would be. They’re both marrying other people, surely the very best way to let your green eyed monster go is to watch her vowing to be with the man she loves. I can’t see why you wouldn’t go.

Are they invited to your wedding? If so it’s very rude to decline theirs without a decent excuse.

She's not marrying your partner. Crushes are crushes, they don't mean a great deal.

You deal with it by going to the wedding, How bizarre. he had a crush on her. End of.

This must have been many years ago if she's now marrying someone else? You're also marrying your future husband?

If they're a good group of friends are you gong to be weird if they're coming to your wedding?

I think it's just worth going tbh it's just making it more weird from your end imo.

You’re being ridiculous

Please go to the wedding OP if you can, and recognise it as the end of an era and the start of a new one.

It firmly draws a line between what once was, and what is now to come.

If you find you have regularly have feelings of jealousy that constrain your life or those around you, or your/their contentment, you need to face up to it tbh before you get married yourself. It can crush you, and crush a relationship. I've seen it a few times over the years. Good luck.

You’re being absolutely ridiculous, it was years ago and nothing really happened between them anyway! We had two of my actual ex boyfriends at my wedding and my DH was not fussed at all.

You feel jealous. Theres nothing wrong with that, he previously dated this woman, so don't let people tell you you are being stupid.

But you do need to put it into persepctive. They are not together for whatever reason, and he is now with you. Do you think he still has a crush on her? Is it something there you are picking up? Or can you look at it all and think, actually no, my partner loves me and has shown no interest in her (in a romantic way) at all.

I understand you are feeling reluctant to go to the wedding. This is a former crush of your partner and she'll no doubt look at her absolute best. However, this is because its her wedding day. She has no interest in your partner, nor him her, otherwise why wouldn't they still be together?

Unless he is always telling you how gorgegous she is and how much he misses her then he has moved on. I am sure he finds you much more gorgeous, because he is engaged to you, no doubt adores you and loves YOU.

Get yourself a lovely dress or outfit that you feel knock out confident in and go to the wedding.

Fucking hell, we went to my exes wedding and he came to the christenings of our kids. You must think we're complete weirdos but there's nothing to be jealous of

I’d probably dump you for being so insecure and jealous if I were your partner

Honestly I think you should just go to the wedding. They won’t be anywhere near you - you’ll be at a table with people you know and your husband too, and that girl will have eyes only for her new husband. I get where you’re coming from but I do think you should probably go . If you don’t go, there will be Qs as to why you haven't gone etc, if your husband drinks then as the night goes on he could confide in his buddies as to why you’re not there… I’m just thinking out loud here. Go and enjoy the day and night with your hubby.
Pick up a gorgeous dress and some killer heels, hair and makeup and you’ll be feeling like a total babe. The next day you’ll wonder why you even considered not going.
!

Me too. OP, you need to grow up.

At this level of jealously and given that he admitted he was the one with the crush, if you're weird about anything it should be marrying him; not going to her wedding!

(Meaning that there's absolutely no reason at all to feel weird about her. Nor him either in fact, because crushes are just crushes, but there's no reason to think she's ever even looked twice at him? What's your problem with her?)

Sorry; on re-reading they had one date, so maybe she did like him once. But it doesn't sound like they had a relationship and she's literally marrying someone else, so I assume that ship has long since sailed.

Yes, YABU. Your reaction is OTT and if I was your fiance, it would make me think twice about marrying you. The only valid excuse for your jealousy would be if he's still passing over-complimentary comments about her to you, otherwise, you sound a bit of a nightmare to have to deal with.

He's marrying you, and she's marrying someone else. I really don't think you have any need to be jealous OP! Go get drunk on them! 😀

Grow up