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Relationships

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Is it over?

4 replies

Gutted75 · 14/06/2023 10:21

My wife left me after 30+ years. We have 3 grown up lads (who all still at home) and she is 52 and I am 47. I am devastated obviously, as my world, my best friend, my everything is now not here.....

She is going through 'the change' with the menopause with neither of us really knowing what to do, so all I did/could do was support her both mentally and physically. Not sure what actual support I gave other being someone to talk to and lean on and being sympathetic, whilst showing how much I loved her as often as I could.

It was a bombshell when she left and she wouldn't take my calls/texts or anything as she went into the no-contact scenario. Whilst this seems to be the thing that the internet suggests, it is quite possibly the nail being driven deeper and deeper.

I asked to meet and eventually she agreed and she sited that we had lost our connection and that she needs to move on. I asked what everyman probably asks at this point and she says there is no-one else.......

I still love my wife with everything that I am. We are in the 'friend zone' right this minute as I do want her to be happy, she is in a bedsit as she is waiting to move into a new place.

Is the menopause a huge factor in a women's psyche or am I just being naïve. We were still intimate until 2 weeks before she left, I am no 'Tom Hardy' but I have been a loyal, honest, caring and loving husband.

Do women use certain phrases to try and force the issue..... Can the menopause affect rational thinking? Do I just continue to give her some time and space to see if she feels she still made the right decision?

I have read this forum and there are a lot of nay sayers who comment - but I do believe that people can be in love with each other for their whole lives. Yes there can be bumps in the road but everything can be worked on right?

Is there any hope for us?????

OP posts:
OIDespair · 14/06/2023 20:13

Meant kindly, but please look further than the menopause for the answers to why your relationship has broken down.

J0S · 14/06/2023 20:18

Has she ever told you that she was unhappy in your marriage ? What did she say ?

Oopsiedaisyy · 14/06/2023 20:29

Don't think about what she's said recently, think about what she was asking for a few months ago, and then went quiet. That's when she realised any issues weren't going to be addressed and decided to leave. She may have made these plans months ago.

bracemyselfagain · 14/06/2023 20:39

Oopsiedaisyy · 14/06/2023 20:29

Don't think about what she's said recently, think about what she was asking for a few months ago, and then went quiet. That's when she realised any issues weren't going to be addressed and decided to leave. She may have made these plans months ago.

This.

Majority of women who walk away from the marital home, where her children still reside (even adults) ... has not thought about doing so lightly.
Something has been amiss for her for a lot longer than starting the menopause. Can you recall any time where she's tried to initiate a serious conversation about your relationship/lifestyle/goals later in life?

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