Obsessive love

[Michael1122]

Every time I have a relationship with a women I get nourves that she will leave me, act like a child and when she finaly leaves, i'm devestated and depressed.
Sending her messages about
about how much I love her and want her back... The thing is that i know deep inside that it's an obsession and not love and that she deserves better. I can't help day dreaming about her, about the good times when she said she lovesd me. Thinking about it is soul crushing. For about 8 years i tried therapy but nothing changed...
It's so frustrating...i'm aware of my actions, i know that they are self destracting and makes me look bad, but sometimes i can't control myself.
Last relationship was really hard as she realy wanted me, she was in love with me and it felt so good. But eventually she realised that i can never love her back.
What can i do to break my addiction?

Take it very slowly and don't talk about moving in until you've been together at least 3 years. Being too intense really scares off women.

It sounds as though you have disordered or anxious attachment issues. Has a therpist ever mentioned this to you? Also have you been with the same therapist for 8 years? If so it might be the therapist, not you that the issue with facilitating change.

I tried different therapists and they did mention that I have attachment issues but the "therapy" did nothing to help with that.
Maybe I should just avoid romantic relationships...

Last relationship was really hard as she realy wanted me, she was in love with me and it felt so good. But eventually she realised that i can never love her back.

I don't understand this in the context of the rest of your post... Are you not loving when you are with your partners, but just become obsessed when the relationship fails?

OP Why couldn't you return her love? If the relationship felt good what was stopping you from having feelings for her?

Ultimately, OP, we do control how we behave. At some level, you’re choosing not to change because this behaviour and these consequences suit you. Have you looked at the pay-offs? By which I mean: have you looked at what you’re getting out of this dysfunctional behaviour? Perhaps that might help you determine whether the damage outweighs the benefits.

We had communication problems I couldn't understand her needs and it causes her to act out and to me being "afraid" of her reactions. She said she loved me but her behavior caused me to be distant. She said she needed time for herself to think, but my obsession kicked in. Couldn't bare the thought of losing her so with long text messages I told her how much I loved her (which I never said before). I kept trying to convince her to be with me until she finally ended it with some harsh words (also blocked me from calling and texting her).
Now I feel regret for being so needy and for not understanding her needs.
If only I left her alone when she asked things might be different now.

@Michael1122 - okay: so make this experience work for you. Learn from it. Don’t take girlfriends for granted. Try to listen to them when they express a need. Step back if they ask you to. I find the most painful lessons in life tend to be the most useful. Learn from this.

I know that what you're saying is the healthy way to look at things.
So I will try to accept what happened and learn from it.