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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Walked in on husband watching porn. Is he less interested in me?

27 replies

Katyannam · 13/06/2023 23:29

I walked in on my husband watching porn on his phone. I didn't immediately realise, but he jumped up so suddenly and his trousers were unzipped. So it seems very likely.

We haven't been married long and haven't really talked about porn. He has said in the past that he doesn't watch it.

I guess it was awkward and a bit of a shock. I was taken aback and didn't act like I'd noticed - but he must have known I had.

I realise that a lot of couples have no issue with this.

It just particularly bothers me at the moment because he recently got back from a week-long trip abroad and didn't seem interested in sex the night he was back - even though he hadn't seen me for a week. He was affectionate in other ways though (hugs, told me a lot that he missed me).

Is it reasonable that I'm feeling hurt after that? Or am I being too sensitive?

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 14/06/2023 19:09

@C1N1C it's most definitely the provenance. No problem with masturbation, or with erotic art or writing.
But I wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone who didn't care about the provenance of their meat either.

CurlewKate · 14/06/2023 19:14

It's also important to remember that there are a lot of powerful vested interests keen on the normalisation of porn. All surveys that conclude "everyone watches it-it's fine. And anyway, women love doing it-they are paying their way through college and it fits in with childcare" should be regarded with a sceptical eye.

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