Hello guys, so I met my current boyfriend at work and I am still (8 months later) working with him.
it is a struggle because especially with it still being new, I have a hard time separating work and our relationship, it’s even harder that he is my supervisor. Now I know, this really isn’t ideal, but I’m looking for a new job soon because I find it can be quite difficult working with him.
My boyfriend has a short fuse, he is relatively hot headed. Particularly at work.. there have been a few times where somethings annoyed him (not to do with me) and he will kick stuff, throw things, break them and shout (not at me).
today it happened because our other colleague (team of 3) had piled things on top of his bag in the work van, so he slams the van door shut really hard, says ‘you need to stop burying my shit’ and aggressively throws an some sun cream at the dashboard. He said he didn’t say it to me, he just ‘said it generally’, but being around that level of anger sets me back and triggers some pretty fresh trauma of mine. I felt 6 again.
anyway, I message him after work telling him that I understand how frustrating work can be, but being around that kind of anger upsets me.
he says he also understands but work annoys him sometimes. I get it, I really do.
He has never done that from being annoyed at me or anything, but I worry that if, down the line, we were to get into an argument, he’d do that sort of thing. My stepdad was a very angry man my whole life, and I got out of an awfully abusive relationship about a year ago. The wounds are fresh.
but even though I said it politely, I just feel so bad for even bringing it up. I feel like I owe him something and that I should be more easy going in general.
he is otherwise wonderful, but I can’t shake off this anger that he sometimes gets. Im just wondering if I can get a 3rd party opinion, I don’t really have any friends to ask about it.
Thanks guys!!