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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I feel guilty whenever I try to express my needs

24 replies

Reyshimushroom · 13/06/2023 20:43

Hello guys, so I met my current boyfriend at work and I am still (8 months later) working with him.

it is a struggle because especially with it still being new, I have a hard time separating work and our relationship, it’s even harder that he is my supervisor. Now I know, this really isn’t ideal, but I’m looking for a new job soon because I find it can be quite difficult working with him.

My boyfriend has a short fuse, he is relatively hot headed. Particularly at work.. there have been a few times where somethings annoyed him (not to do with me) and he will kick stuff, throw things, break them and shout (not at me).

today it happened because our other colleague (team of 3) had piled things on top of his bag in the work van, so he slams the van door shut really hard, says ‘you need to stop burying my shit’ and aggressively throws an some sun cream at the dashboard. He said he didn’t say it to me, he just ‘said it generally’, but being around that level of anger sets me back and triggers some pretty fresh trauma of mine. I felt 6 again.

anyway, I message him after work telling him that I understand how frustrating work can be, but being around that kind of anger upsets me.

he says he also understands but work annoys him sometimes. I get it, I really do.

He has never done that from being annoyed at me or anything, but I worry that if, down the line, we were to get into an argument, he’d do that sort of thing. My stepdad was a very angry man my whole life, and I got out of an awfully abusive relationship about a year ago. The wounds are fresh.

but even though I said it politely, I just feel so bad for even bringing it up. I feel like I owe him something and that I should be more easy going in general.

he is otherwise wonderful, but I can’t shake off this anger that he sometimes gets. Im just wondering if I can get a 3rd party opinion, I don’t really have any friends to ask about it.

Thanks guys!!

OP posts:
TheSmallAssassin · 13/06/2023 20:45

He is not wonderful.

Dacadactyl · 13/06/2023 20:52

You should listen to your gut instinct because it's warning you this guy is bad news.

Call it quits with him and find a new job.

Beck2017 · 13/06/2023 20:54

Nope, hes a tosser. Leave the job and him

romanticdresses · 13/06/2023 20:58

Hmm. Yeah, that would give me the ick.
You do know you are indirectly being subjected to this right? He may say it isn't and call it something else. But a grown man, at work, should not behave like that, what will he be doing behind closed doors when no one sees and it is aimed at you? Because this sort of behaviour is not just for work.

Velvetbee · 13/06/2023 21:00

Run.

User63847484848 · 13/06/2023 21:01

You know there are people who don’t get angry like that that you could date.
and you’re right to be wary - listen to your gut - you’re right that down the line when the shine has worn off and he’s annoyed with you he will direct that sort of behaviour to you. Even so it’s upsetting for you to witness it or be around it. He’s not good boyfriend material for you.

ShandaLear · 13/06/2023 21:02

He is showing you who he is. Believe him.

Reyshimushroom · 13/06/2023 21:03

@romanticdresses Exactly, even as a supervisor, it makes work an unpleasant place to be. He said he understands and that he’s sorry, but I’m not sure he does to be honest

OP posts:
Reyshimushroom · 13/06/2023 21:04

@User63847484848 thank you, I don’t know why I continue to convince myself that I’m the problem. I wouldn’t want this around my future little ones

OP posts:
BittenontheBum · 13/06/2023 21:05

Really gently, listen to your gut. This angry man makes you uncomfortable. You already feel like you shouldn't mention anything that might upset him further, including setting out your boundaries, wants and needs.
So early in a relationship things shouldn't be this difficult.
You have had a prior relationship with an abusive person.
I'm suggesting therapy, and a job change pronto.
You deserve someone kind and gentle 🌺

Cloverforever · 13/06/2023 21:05

Dump him OP. This is not a nice man.

You can do so much better.

Reyshimushroom · 13/06/2023 21:07

@BittenontheBum @Cloverforever thank you so much for these replies, really eye opening. I’m very grateful :)

OP posts:
Rainbowreddy · 13/06/2023 21:07

One of my favourite things about my husband is how calm and mild mannered he is. I don't think I've ever seen him properly angry. I couldn't live with someone who was aggressive and opened up old wounds in the way you describe. Moodiness and a bad temper are deal breakers for me. I would run if I was you. The 'wonderful' characteristics won't make up for it after a while. Run run rub.

Rainbowreddy · 13/06/2023 21:07

Em, that should have been 3 runs! No rubbing!

Guavafish1 · 13/06/2023 21:10

No, you know he will eventually do it to you

Reyshimushroom · 13/06/2023 21:12

@Rainbowreddy i do find myself craving company with a calm person, I am surprised I’ve found myself with an angry man after promising myself I never would.

OP posts:
Conkered · 13/06/2023 21:14

Distance yourself while you find a new job asap and get some counselling too. Learn to listen to that inner voice, it's guiding you. Your instincts are right. You sound lovely, you'll find someone you deserve.

Reyshimushroom · 13/06/2023 21:19

@Conkered thank you so much, I agree with the counselling.. struggling to make sense of my own feelings!! :(

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/06/2023 21:26

The interesting thing here is you feeling so bad bringing it up and making it about you should be this or that. Absolutely not- his angry over reactions are his problem and his responsibility only and aren't caused by you not being there for him in the correct way. You have a need to feel safe and calm and you have safely stated this.

Whether to stay with him or not... we'll he's shown you a big red flag. Stay alert.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/06/2023 21:27

Reyshimushroom · 13/06/2023 21:19

@Conkered thank you so much, I agree with the counselling.. struggling to make sense of my own feelings!! :(

I agree too that would help

Restinggoddess · 13/06/2023 21:36

You deserve better - much better

New job and maybe a new man - in time

Wishing you a calm and happy future

TheGreatArmundo · 13/06/2023 21:40

You’re only a few months in. Please get out now whilst you can. He absolutely WILL direct this at you and continually. You are worth more.

Reyshimushroom · 13/06/2023 22:22

@Unexpectedlysinglemum its strange, I am aware of how much I self sabotage, but after years of abuse all I know is to question my feelings. But thank you for your response, I really appreciate it

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/06/2023 22:42

Reyshimushroom · 13/06/2023 22:22

@Unexpectedlysinglemum its strange, I am aware of how much I self sabotage, but after years of abuse all I know is to question my feelings. But thank you for your response, I really appreciate it

It sounds like you are starting to become more aware of them though whcih is the first step and is great and you should be proud that you are questioning this and listening to your gut x

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