Let down again, am I too sensitive?

[ALittleBitConfused1]

So long standing friendship (since we were about 7) shes a lovely girl, thoughtful, kind funny and so low maintenance but I'm just a bit meh about this latest let down. Shes had a really tough few years so I've tried to be really laid back about things like this but if I'm completely honest shes always been flaky (for want of a nicer word).
Always late, to the point of arriving too late for plans to be kept. Not very reliable, but we did have a chat a few years ago when she let me down and I kind of lost my shit at her. Shes always apologetic and theres always a reason (usually due to not being organised) but I did tell her on the last occasion that I'm sick of it, it feels like my time isn't important. To be fair she has made more of an effort since.
I really think a lot of her and we always have a good time together, shes been a good friend over the years I just hate that when we plan something you never quite know if it's going to happen or not.
Anyway a few weeks ago we had been chatting about meeting up. She said she was skint but did I want to do something low key on bank holiday Monday. I said that I had to wait in for a parcel in the morning but we could do something after or would she like to come round and I'd make lunch, could have a natter and a wine in the garden, she said that would be perfect.
The weekend rolls round, I kept the day free and bought some nice food for lunch. My little Ganddaughter popped in with her Mummy and normally I wouldve had them here all day but after a short visit did say I had a friend coming over so they left.
By midday I hadn't heard anything and was getting hungry so dropped her a mess asking what time. At half 1 she mess apologising, she'd got back late from her bf, still had to shop and clean etc etc but could maybe pop over that evening.
I didnt bother replying, prob childish but I was just pissed off. I'd kept the day free, bought stuff in especially, squished everything else into the two days and now had a bank holiday that I didnt have plans for. I just think it was rude and I guess I have to accept no matter how good her intentions are this is just how it's going to be. She avoids confrontation of any kind so I'll have to reach out to her next and I'm probably being a tad dramatic but I'm just pissed off and know I wouldn't have done that to someone.

It doesn’t sound like she values your friendship as much as you do tbh. If you are such good friends, I would tell her how upset you are. If she doesn’t apologise profusely then I guess you either put up with it or ditch her.

You can’t change her, only you.

I think long term friends can start taking you for granted. They know the friendship is so rock solid that they don't have to make an effort. I had a friend who cancelled on me because she was "too tired". I would give her a bit of space. It's tough because you don't want to drift apart but I think long term friends can actually be quite selfish at times.

I just think it was rude and I guess I have to accept no matter how good her intentions are this is just how it's going to be.

This about sums it up (unfortunately). This is who she is. For whatever reason she's just not reliable and can be quite inconsiderate. In your shoes I'd stick to spur of the moment outings - "want to grab a coffee this afternoon?" rather than making long range plans that she'll likely not go thru with.

Something similar happened to me recently.

I arranged a dinner date weeks in advance, my treat, based around my busy diary and her up coming birthday.

I travel away a lot so I make dates and appointments for when I know I’m home for a bit and my date with her was the keystone, the springboard, this time. I had no other plans.

Sent an arrangements reminder (rendezvous at my home, table is booked, etc)to friend 4 days before agreed and previously accepted date, who then backed out saying she was really busy, maybe make it for July? Just like that!

The jury is still out on my future attitude towards our “friendship.” Right now I couldn’t care if I never see her again.

I had exactly the same thing...arranged a trip for my very long standing friend's birthday then got a "can we move the date as something has come up" I asked for alternative dates and got a "will get back to you" I actually wondered if since COVID flakiness is more common...

Well ii reached out to her again at an anniversary of a horrendously bad time for her family, just to let her know I was thinking of them all, like I said we've been friends most of our life and I know her family well. She mentioned a couple of events that we had previously planned. One was at the weekend and confirmed she was still coming. I wasnt going to mention either of them because I had arranged to go with other people (as I always have to do when making plans with her).
I bought the tickets, when she paid me for the ticket early rather than on the day I knew she wasnt going to come but she assured me she was.
Then late friday she changed the meet time to later.
Then saturday she pushed it out again and said she would meet us there (only once we had delayed leaving and i was texting her to find out where she was).
Then I text her after a couple of hours being there (as i couldn't relax and was waiting to meet her at the gate to give her the ticket). Then at the stage she was 4 hours late she finally tells me she isn't in the mood and wont be coming. I know she has a hard time sometimes but I think I'm going to have to draw a line here and leave this friendship as something that isn't good for me.
I'll feel like a shit friend for a while for not being more understanding of her problems but theres nothing I can do about that. If this was a bloke treating me like this I wouldve ended it a long time ago.

"I'll feel like a shit friend for a while for not being more understanding of her problems but theres nothing I can do about that. If this was a bloke treating me like this I wouldve ended it a long time ago."

Yes, it sounds like you need to draw a line under this. She's had enough second chances now and failed each and every time. By all means chat to her, just stop arranging things.

Let it fizzle. You've been understanding enough of her problems.

If she ever asks why, tell her she keeps letting you down at the last minute which has changed the dynamics of the friendship for you.