The End

[Albie9]

Feeling pretty low right now and don't feel I can share with anyone IRL so would be grateful to hear other experiences of the other side.
I've been with my partner for over 7 years but have felt disconnected for a long time and have put up with a lot of verbal abuse and recently physical (albeit not extreme, but nevertheless, still behaviour I don't want to be around!).
I do care about him but sadly no longer have a connection, and any love that was there has now gone.
I'm so worried about the next few months with getting the house ready to sell and trying to find somewhere on my own that I can afford etc. and worried about how I will be without him but then telling myself it's the right decision to leave because we aren't connected and barely any sex etc.
I suppose I'm posting to hear stories of the other side to reassure me I will be happy again!
For ref, I'm late 20s

Well done for taking action - and I hope that the other actions you are taking, finding a place and making a new home for yourself, will also make you feel proud and independent despite your natural anxiety following years of being put down.

It's a new beginning. Hope that lots of lovely new opportunities come your way :)

@80s

Thank you. Really sweet message! Definitely needed to see this 🥺💞

Hi,
I know exactly how you feel and it's scary! The thought of starting again is daunting but it's also exciting.
The first thing I did was write down all my finances and work out what I could afford and also what I could cut down on. This then gave me a clear goal of what I was aiming for - I started looking at places and that gave me something to look forward to.

After time the verbal and physical abuse eats away at the love you had for the person and shocks you into thinking how could he be like that? In my situation I blamed myself. I dated someone for a few weeks who was the complete opposite to my ex and he was just amazing - opened my eyes to how I should of been treated, sadly it didn't work out but not because of how he treated me.
Any minute you're spending with your ex is time you could be spending on yourself with new experiences and meeting amazing people.

Most importantly talk to friends and family, share with them how you're feeling and what you've been through. Once you've got yourself out the situation you'll realise being on your own is better than being with someone who makes you feel worthless. I'm still recovering and everyday is a struggle but you can do it.

Remind yourself that you're not leaving due to lack of sex and connection, make the physical and verbal abuse the headline and keep that in mind.

You are absolutely doing the right thing by choosing yourself, life is short and there are better ways to spend it than being somebody's punchbag, and feeling that's all there is. Well done, keep going, one day at a time towards what you want and what feels right.

@Bronte347

I'm glad you found the courage to leave and are happier for it!
I am feeling very overwhelmed at the moment. Keep asking myself if I'm making the right decision. I have gone to leave before and he has begged me to stay and I have decided to try, and again, here we are in the same boat!
I'm just trying to tell myself that I could be happy with someone else who will treat me well and respect me but everything else surrounding it is very daunting.
You're right though - I just need to think about the verbal & physical abuse and know it's never going to get better and I'm just wasting time.
Thank you 💞 I hope you find happiness too x

@Seas164 wise words! Thank you 💞
Life is definitely too short! I need to stop thinking of what could be because it's never going to happen. I need to just move on x