My parents are together but the way I speak about them you'd think they were not. So many things growing up and now I'm an adult and have a DC I can see what an awful misogynistic, sexism, fattest pr*ck he is.
He's never been a huge family man when we were little. I remember my DM being at school stuff, taking us places, taking me to my hobbies. All my dad seemed interested in was going to the pub and getting drunk. Socialising with people at any chance. When we were dragged to pubs because of someone's birthday, new year etc he would always want to be first there and last to leave. Wouldn't dare say anything as he could shout or get aggressive. In some cases he had been aggressive with DM which I witnessed (she was not innocent either, she would wind him up, throw stuff at him). He had a hobby two nights of the week and nothing would get in the way of them. Even if it was our birthdays or a special night, he would still go. It came first. He still goes to one hobby now and it comes first in my parents lives. He drinks whilst he's there. My DM has to drop everything and take him no matter what.
He sees relationships as traditional and a woman's place is in the kitchen. I remember him trying to get me to put her down when I was little. Calling DM dumb etc. He has this air of arrogance about him. He thinks he's so much better and knows everything. Was not allowed an opinion, it was always wrong.
So many times I was hit by him, he never showed remorse or apologise. It was usually my DM that came to check on me. He's been arrested for calling a bar man something offensive and properly being awkward. I got him arrested when I was an adult for pushing my DM and being intimidating towards me.
This weekend we were at a BBQ with family. He just sat on his phone watching sport most of the time. My DC and his other grandchildren were calling him but he was more interested in his phone. My DP commented on it too and I replied he's always like this. I can never ask for his help around my house because I always feel like he doesn't want to help.
I just feel sad. I'm jealous of people's relationships with their dads which are caring, nurturing, they feel they can turn to in times of need. Instead I've been dealt with this dad. I feel sad we are not enough for him and he put's other things before us. Don't what I want out of this post but just felt I needed to write it down.