Does anyone else feel lonely since covid?

[lonelysincecovid]

I can't work out if this is the impact of the pandemic, or where I am in my life stage or a personal thing because I have no family.

But in the last year of two I have begun to feel really, really lonely. Covid hit when my oldest was in year 7 and my youngest in year 5. I feel like I still had a lot of social connections when my youngest was in primary.

Since she started secondary in Sept 2021 I feel as though I have no friends anymore.

I don't see local friends I used to on school run or doing childcare swaps/family days out etc.

But separately I have found that it was always me making the first move to stay in touch with people. Getting left on read if I messaged them.

I 'dropped the rope' last October and I now only have two friends I see regularly.

Everyone else is just.....gone.

No fall outs, no drama.

It's like I just isn't a 'thing' any more to stay in touch.

Can anyone relate?

Yes definitely. I used to have a big group of friends but since covid some have moved away and with others I have lost regular contact. I'm not lonely as such but it is sad that such longstanding friendships seem to have just disappeared.

Possibly an age thing - after we hit 40 and most of our kids became teens things seem to have changed. Also I was the main organiser of events and I now work much longer hours and the other person who organised stuff was one of the ones that moved away.

I still see some people one to one but I am finding I have less and less in common with them.

I have some newer friends who I am spending more time with due to working together and knowing more about each other now since we see each other every week. I am still friends with the old lot but it has become more acquaintance like. I don't feel massively sad about it which has surprised me.

That's interesting @Titsywoo, I'm mid-40s with both kids in their teens now so it's interesting to hear your perspective.

I think I did feel some of this early in covid, too. People seemed to be drinking wine on zoom chats every weekend, doing quizzes etc in the first lockdown yet I wasn't in touch with anyone.

I really noticed that in March 2020 I initiated a lot of "hi how are you coping isn't this a shock?" conversations and that no one did the same with me.

A lot of my friends aren't local and so staying in touch with messaging etc was the norm and yet now I don't bother as I'm tired of being left on read as though it doesn't matter.

It's like I'm bottom of everyone's priority list. Final straw I think was a friend who lives in the states I have known since we were teens who video called me after loads of time not being in touch. I was delighted to hear from her but within five minutes her 3 year old had called her to play hide and seek so she went and did that rather than leaving her partner (who was in the house) to entertain her child.

It feels like being bottom of everyone's priority lists.

I'm glad you've had the energy to focus on new friendships, I feel like I don't think I can face the energy investment now for what might turn out to be more of the same.

Yes to some extent. Some months I'm really busy then other months I do nothing (this is one) and I feel really lonely.

I had one friend who I met about 3 years ago, used to message daily. We drifted apart when I got a new job and realised what little we had in common, I met up with her earlier this year and she didn't show an ounce of interest in what I was saying. I just had enough at that point as it was like that every time we met up. I also got fed up of constantly being the one to suggest doing something.

But I have a lovely job, with lovely people who I'm starting to form friendships with.

I think covid made people realise how superficial friendships can be.

Yetisrus, that's an interesting point. I have definitely distanced myself from some people who can't seem to maintain a two - way conversation so it's interesting to read that because it makes me see that I've definitely been part of this as well.

It's great that you can meet people at work, I am freelance so have no work colleagues and I find that really hard :(

I also agree that as we get older(I'm mid 40s as well), we start to see friendships differently and our priorities change.

This is an interesting topic. I worked all through covid, other than work colleagues, didn't have many friends, one or two so I think like a lot of people we probably coped better with the lockdowns. I do find now though that I have more conversations and make more effort to socialise that I did before.

Yes - I think people have retreated into their family's. All our friends seem to have disappeared since covid!
Our kids are older teenagers so not so involved with school stuff anymore. Lifelong friends have troublesome ailing ageing parents, which dominates all their spare time.
Both DH and I work from home so not even workmates to chat to.
Not sure what the answer is, have considered joining a club or something but not sure I’ve got the enthusiasm! I do worry about how quiet it will be when kids leave for Uni, just DH and I sat reading a book!

I'm lonely but also very anti-social to the point of almost developing social anxiety.
Seems to have come out of nowhere and it is since Covid

Very odd

Yes op same here. My neighbour says our road is strange now. Nobody mixes we not sure is it menopause or just people have changed. I feel same reached out for coffees no replies. Then my school reunion page gave a girl a few dates if suited to meet. Silence. I cant be assed with it all now!!!!