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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Money

14 replies

Samantha41 · 11/06/2023 19:58

Omg ive posted quite a lot tonight!
4 years ago my parents gifted me 3,000 pounds. I used 300 for a treadmill and when I wanted to book a holiday lo and behold there was no money left !!!! Husband used it on his failing business !!!
I am self employed went back to work 6 months ago was very sick for 2 weeks and he paid for the food which I normally pay for and our sons trip to a theme park he has demanded the money back !
even though he earns more than me has booked an expensive holiday etc.
when I mentioned I would deduct x amount of money from the money he owes me he replied he took the money as I wasn’t working !!!! I was a sahm as a mutual choice ! I didn’t just decide not to work and sit around all day !!!!

OP posts:
ZekeZeke · 11/06/2023 20:14

What are you asking?
You are married to a financially abusive bully.

Samantha41 · 11/06/2023 20:18

I think he’s completely out of order but I might be overreacting ?

OP posts:
Sasha46 · 11/06/2023 20:22

If you were gifted that amount of money you should have had it in a different account that’s in your name

Samantha41 · 11/06/2023 20:24

I know at the time I only had a joint account

OP posts:
Samantha41 · 11/06/2023 20:25

But that doesn’t make a difference it still wasn’t for him to use !!! If he’d have asked I probably would have said yes it’s the fact he took it and I had to find out on my own the money had been used !

OP posts:
Sasha46 · 11/06/2023 20:32

I would have gone mental if someone used that money without asking

INeedAnotherName · 11/06/2023 20:36

Husband used it on his failing business !!!
even though he earns more than me

If it's failing how is he bringing any money in? Anyway, no you are not over reacting but I'm guessing he's using you to fund his lifestyle in different ways too eg making you responsible for the house and child so he has permanently free time to do what he wants, when he wants.

mondaytosunday · 11/06/2023 20:44

I can't stand this sort of thing. He's being completely unreasonable. Asking for money for food and your son? What kind of father and husband does this?

DazeOff · 11/06/2023 20:51

Unacceptable in my book. This is why I have separate finances.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 11/06/2023 20:58

Awful guy not just what he did, but how he is speaking to you about it- seems like there are a lot more issues than just this.

Samantha41 · 11/06/2023 22:48

There are a lot more issues I feel so drained tbh

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 11/06/2023 22:51

Have you online access to the bank account where the £3000 from your parents was lodged?

determinedtomakethiswork · 11/06/2023 22:51

Sasha46 · 11/06/2023 20:22

If you were gifted that amount of money you should have had it in a different account that’s in your name

Don't go blaming her for him stealing her money!

Samantha41 · 11/06/2023 23:07

GrazingSheep · 11/06/2023 22:51

Have you online access to the bank account where the £3000 from your parents was lodged?

Yes I have access to the account but nothing k can do as it’s a joint account.

OP posts:
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