Online woes

[LGMirror]

Boyfriend of 2.5 years and I run a business that has a heavy online presence. As its got better we've attracted people who like to message us. Him more than me, sometimes the page.

Anyway - 12 months ago this woman popped up and started interacting. I know her offline as an acquaintence. He hasn't met her. She was very full on telling me he was good looking and making noises about how hot he was. I didn't let on as bf likes to keep things quiet. Says its better that way. Its just unconfirmed to the public rather than a secret.

He noticed this and I said be careful, she fancies you and she's a bit vulnerable because she seems to post about a lot of issues she has. He said she was pretty.

I don't like how she's in the last month started posting lots of comments directed at him, liking things only he is in. She seems very forward and he knows I don't like it but he thinks I'm unfounded.

We don't live together but he told me last night she'd messaged him and they started a conversation. He said I could have screenshots that it was all just friendly and that I needed to say if I didn't like it but really I was projecting old trauma on it.

I just don't like it and feel insecure that he even told me. Why did he have to? In case she told me a different story?

It took him a long time to tell his close friends and family about our relationship and I am forbidden from posting photos of us being 'together'. It makes me worried that he's going to be talking to her, they'll get close and I'll end up replaced.

Talk me down MN. Or please tell me some advice on how to manage this.

Why are you forbidden for posting you together? Sounds like he's keeping his options open to me. I wouldn't care what other women did, it's how he responds. He should be polite but knock down any advances.

I often wonder if I posted a photo on my personal pages, how he'd react. It does to me too. He was hurt badly by a previous wife who did some odd things. I only have his word for it and it was a long time ago.

This is the key. It depends how he responds. I think I need to wait and see if I detect changes in his behaviour.

I just don't see why she had to start messaging him. She could have messaged me if she needed anything at all. It was purely social too. Not buying.

Sounds all a bit off. He should be giving her the cold shoulder in my eyes if he knows you don't like her messaging him.

Him saying you are "projecting old trauma" and "not being allowed to post photos of the 2 of you" Plus an ex-wife....all that would've put me right off him.

Should I ask him if she messaged him again?

He could just screenshot what he wants - could delete specific msgs etc.. so that’s not of much use to you.
He seems to be giving her way too much attention. He has stated he finds her attractive so you are obviously going to be even more on edge. I don’t know why he doesn’t want to post you two publicly. What’s he hiding from, his ex wife? His friends and family? If you 2 are serious it shouldn’t be so hush hush . If it’s hurting you or causing you to be insecure then he really shouldn’t be msging her. Just my opinion

She isn’t the problem, he is. Post a picture of you and him and when he complains, tell him that you aren’t being held to ransom by his ‘past trauma’.

Question her motives all you like but your bf is a twat.