He was a cocklodger all along wasn't he?

[Cassidyscircus]

I broke up with my dp of 4 years a couple of weeks ago but have been wrestling with it internally. Finally the penny dropped today.

For the last 3 years he has put so much pressure on me to move into my house / be here all the time / spend more time with me.
I've resisted because although he was always kind and sweet to me, I found him a little needy on the 3 days per week I did see him.

I have 2 dc and worked so hard to scrimp and save to buy my little house, I've been a single mum for 9 years and paid for every brick and cushion and appliance myself.
He has been living with his mum since he broke up with his ex girlfriend 5 years ago, he is 40.

He really began to try to gaslight and manipulate me in the last month of the relationship to allow him to move in, and i also started to get the feeling he was starting down the cheating road (loads of time at the gym/ new work friends/ being suddenly nasty / obsessed with weird sex) It was the final straw as I've been there and got the tshirt with my ex husband.

I bumped into a mutual friend today who told me that 3 days after we broke up ex'd'p moved into his female 'friend's home.🤦🏼‍♀️
I feel a bit embarrassed and weirded out, but the sense of relief is incredible. 🥰

Well dodged OP!! What a loser he is.

Well done! These types of men think women are stupid and desperate. I think they see lone parents as easy pickings.

That poor lady taking on a 40 year old with nothing.

I will never live with a man again. Like you I've paid for it all myself and I love my own space.

I bet his mums pleased too. Poor new woman though.

Sounds like she was his back up plan.

You clearly dodged a bullet!

This is why I stopped dating once I got to 40, every man I came across either lived with their parents or a mate and while having good jobs had never had their own place. Once you dig a bit its always the same story they've gone from woman to woman then walking away without any responsibility when the going gets tough.
It amazed me how many men in their 40s didnt even own their own toaster lol.
One bloke said to me, 4 dates in and the first one at my house (I'd asked him over for a meal) right show mr around then, I want to check the place out. Twat. Nothing as unattractive as a bloke who doesnt have a utility bill in his own name ha ha ha.
Well swerved op.

Still saying that it also never amazes me how many women in their 40s are more than happy to move a bloke in two weeks after meeting them

Exactly the same feeling.

I broke up with someone just a couple of months ago and although I broke up with him because we had nothing in common, I actually think he just wanted to live in a nice house whilst having to pay minimal rent.