Love dh but his snoring is getting worse and I need sleep!

[TeenLifeMum]

Fil snores horrendously - shake the house type snoring. Dh usually only snores when he has a cold but in the last year he’s got so much worse. He’s seen a consultant but is awaiting sleep apnoea clinic appointment. He’s not chasing it. I’ve spent most of this week sleeping in dd2’s bottom bunk. I don’t have a spare bedroom and don’t want to not sleep with my husband but also, need my sleep. He won’t speak about it. I’m tired and sad.

He needs to chase appointment

Tell him to sleep on sofa until then that might speed up things.

Right now he has bed to himself because you moved what incentive does he have to chase anything?

I got myself some Loop bedtime earplugs, DPs snoring got horrendous with hay fever. Not perfect but so so so much better. They are almost like a comfort blanket to me now after only two months, I can't sleep without them.

Younhave my sympathy OP

Dh and I have just been out and bought me a new bed and mattress. One of the dcs has left home and I'm going tonsleep in their old room. Can't wait. Dhs snoring is horrendous and he's had it checked and they say its just the structure of his nose and mouth.

We still have sex but no longer sleep together. I cannot believe the increase in my energy levels!

I moved because I sleep well in dd2’s bunk bed and she’s a girl so feels more appropriate than sending her dad in although they’re close. He is a brilliant dad and husband in every other way. I’m dreaming of having my own bedroom when dc leave home but that’s years away.

I’m amazed more men aren’t smothered by pillows to death because at night when he’s roaring away I’m laying there irrationally angry. I know he can’t help it but I’m so pissed off with him today. I have a big piece of work to do today but I’m too tired to focus.

DH has got restless legs, and I had a head injury years ago so being tired isn't an option for me as it makes my brain foggy. I'm really not nice when I'm tired. I was getting to the point that I hated him, and when our youngest left home, we finally had a spare room. Now he sleeps in there and I get 7 hours of sleep a night.

It's made us far happier as a couple, I was just writhing with resentment before because he wouldn't take medication or make any lifestyle changes. I can't imagine ever sharing a bed again to be honest.

Have him download an app that records him snoring so he can hear how bad it is? Maybe once he realises he will be more proactive in trying to do something about it? This is what my DP did and it was quite a shock for him. But we are lucky that we have a spare bedroom so he sleeps in there now!

@pinkorchid1 i am being a bit unfair. I did record him and he knows his dad can actually shake a house so he’s not totally in denial. He had an appointment with the gp last summer then with the respiratory clinic in feb but that was cancelled and moved to April. He has a further referral to the sleep clinic and did chase 2 weeks ago only to find the April appointment notes hadn’t been written yet so referral not done. He has had the notes through and had steroid tablets for his nose polyps (which he’s had 2 operations on and I know the op is horribly unpleasant). Steroids make him feel sick so he delayed taking them until I lost my shit and he’s now completed the course and it’s worse than ever (but he had a cold 2 weeks ago).

he’s not being totally passive but sleep clinic wait is long and I’m tired and grumpy.

going to buy ear plugs like suggested up thread!

My DH and I have just ended up living separately due to snoring. (Well that and a few other things) I was in a bottom bunk for 16 months and he made no effort to rectify it so he's just moved out. It is not ideal but I wanted proper sleep and my own space back. I am still sad that he never progressed doctors visits but we are where we are. I made sure I have a spare bed in the office now for when he sleeps over as I know for a fact he will drive me insane with his snoring. I found it really impacted our intimacy and relationship. I have no suggestions but you have my sympathy!

We have our own rooms. Couldn't cope with the dh's snoring, we have different sleep routines and I'm a really light sleeper. The best decision ever. I actually dread the 'having' to sleep together when we go away anywhere.🙂

I also have a DH who wouldn’t do anything about it ( and his ED !) so we are in separate rooms. Bliss !.

Ear plugs made little difference 😭 I think he was aware I was wearing them so didn’t even try not to snore.

Me too

Having separate rooms has changed my life. I feel 10 years younger and also don't reaent dh any more. Its improved our marriage.

Separate rooms here, especially as I’m aware I now snore too.

Start by trying decent earplugs, I have also had some success with a sleep head band that plays white noise into my ears to drown out the noise. Doesn’t always work.
In the end separate rooms for sleep is the only thing that’s worked and I think saved our marriage.

The refusal to talk about it is a problem.

I've had this for 10 years and it had such an impact on our relationship as we were both tired and resentful. Me of getting no sleep, him of being woken up and moaned at. Finally got the sleep apnea machine a few weeks back.......life-changing. it makes no noise, the snoring has stopped, I get sleep, he gets sleep for the first time in years. We both have more energy, sex, good conversations. It has literally saved our marriage.

Keep pushing for the machine, although with hindsight we should have just bought one years ago

I’m the snorer in our house. It’s got worse in the last 12 months . Worst when I’m exhausted. I don’t want to be woken repeatedly and DH is kind enough not to wake me. He sleeps in the spare room most of the time now.
Holiday was bad this time. I bought a groove antisnoring pillow - it had good ratings. It’s really comfortable has helped my neck pain and DH said the snoring is better. Maybe something to try??

I’m the snorer in our relationship. About 12 years ago things came to a head and two things happened (in this order): I moved out of the marital bed, & got (via GP and sleep clinic referral) a Mandibular Advancement Device (mouthguard) made which I still wear every night.
The mouthguard fixed the snoring and with that came the realisation of how bad my own sleep had been. I am no longer tired during the day and have 1000% more energy generally - and lost weight.
Our relationship has improved dramatically over the years. We both sleep way better and live better lives as a result. We discovered we both actually prefer to sleep alone so that is still the case but at least my wife does not dread holidays any more and sharing a bed is not a recipe for sleep deprivation for her any more.
Fixing my snoring is one of the most important things I’ve ever done for our relationship! Cannot stress that enough.

We have three children in a 4 bed house otherwise I’d make a bedroom for myself!

Same.
I have my own clean, tidy beautifully decorated room.
No crap everywhere,no snoring, farting or being kicked awake.
Heaven 😂

Interesting post, my husband and I have always had some issues sleeping in sake bed, he then started coming to bed later n kept quiet n that worked for a time. Then he was ill with v bad cough and he stayed in lounge on a camping air mattress bit now better 4wks later we're trying to adjust again to being in same bed. He snores on his back so always nudging him over, has various groaning moaning sounds however he sleeps and sometimes does the hand on head elbow drop motion. I'm a v light sleeper with issues when woken up getting back to sleep, get racing heartbeat, then watching n listening for next sound then struggle to get back into whatever was dreaming about (worse if don't like what was dreaming about). Takes me ages to fallback asleep sometimes 2-3hrs. The other day I went in lounge as felt bad for him not having proper mattress during the week. Want to find a solution where we both sleep well. Considering whether mattress needs changing as 8 years old, I use earplugs the wax ones that squash in gap but noise cancelling can be worse, I sleep with white fan noise n need consistent sound to fall asleep...over 40 n starting to wonder if I'm fixed in my ways n we need something more permanent setup in a second room which is tricky for sound reasons. Please advise...sorry for essay,thanks