Smelly brother

[wossgoinon]

My 48 year old brother has been living with me since February and now I am at the end of my tether.

im 51 work full time, own house and my 18yr DS is living with me until he starts uni.

my DB got kicked out of his place HMO as he said the landlord was selling. I now realise that he has no basic hygiene. He has ruined the spare room which was newly decorated and new bed. I have to tell him to shower, wash his clothes. He pebble dashes the loo and does fuck all to contribute.
Im worried that if I kick him out he will have no where to go.

Oh no you can't have that! Tell him to clean his act up or or take his shitty arse somewhere else!

Could you suggest he tries to find another HMO or have a look on line and see what's around then speak to him about moving on ?
It's not until you live with someone do you discover what they are really like and it's clearly not working out for you having him around
He needs to pull his weight or you need to tell him to move out.
I know it's hard though and confronting people isn't easy.

Kick him out.

Sorry - we all pebble dash the loo on occasion but toilet brushes and bleach are there for a reason

I dont know what he's done to your spare room but he sounds a nightmare

His living situation is not your problem. If he hasn't sorted himself out by 48, he will never sort himself out. Are you going to have him there until he dies?

Tell him to sort his act out or leave. Starting with his shithole bedroom

I said he could stay until I’m ready to sell which will be in about 2 years but in the meantime he is to save money for deposit. He can’t hold on to a job which is labouring and just comes out with the same old shit. He is not coming with us! I do make it clear. He does have a daughter but he is even a deadbeat dad to her!

people never change

Oh the bedroom is covered in filthy handprints, new bed soiled with whatever shit he has been working with. Our mum died last year and she was always over there, looks like he sees me as a free meal ticket

How are you ever going to sell a house with a shithole for a bedroom?

I will have to do it again when I’m ready to sell 🤷‍♀️ So pissed off with it all

You don't have to worry where he'll go if he leaves, because if you tell him the ground rules of living in your house, and he wants to stay, he won't break them.

It's his decision, so you don't have to worry about it. If he can't manage a basic level of cleanliness when he's been told his accommodation depends on it, that's his issue.

And if you really think he's genuinely incapable, then you're effectively acting as a cleaner for someone with mental health difficulties. Someone else can do that, elsewhere, once he's got a diagnosis.

Totally agree with PPs, especially @Watchkeys . He shapes up or ships out. He's an adult and this is his problem - he should be valuing the way you helped him out of a bind, not shitting on you (almost literally) for doing it.

You will not be making him homeless if he cannot act like a normal human. HE will be doing that.

Oh, and having worked with autistic people with major learning/physical disabilities, this would not be acceptable in any of the outstanding residences I worked in. If he is genuinely diagnosed, he will be able to access similar services.

You can only be a meal ticket if you allow yourself to be.

He's your little brother, I'd be blunt as anything with him.
Either he stops being a pig and wrecking your house and cleans up behind himself or he goes