Three years ago my Aunt, Lets call her Jane, came to me asking me to help her with something huge, I decided to help, Key words here are Help her.. It quickly became apparent that I was doing everything myself and Jane was nowhere to be seen, I suffer from depression and I felt myself getting depressed because I had been left to do this thing alone with no help at all and I started to feel trapped, Think along the lines of caring for two family members who were both very ill (24/7), Jane then started ignoring my texts even if it was something very important, she's next of kin and I wasn't so she needed to make decisions I couldn't make.
This went on for two years before I couldn't take it anymore and practically begged Jane for some help or I would have to walk away because I couldn't do it alone.. the text I got back was 'Just fucking deal with it and get on with it'
Not long after that family member one passed away, family member two went into a care home. Guess who sorted the funeral because nobody else would? guess who read and wrote the eulogy because nobody else would? Like I said, I did EVERYTHING for two years and it almost killed me.
The issue is now, a year later.
Went to a family members house and Jane was there, as soon as she saw me she left instantly, saw her walking down the street another time and she pretended she didn't see me and walked away in the opposite direction, Another family member had a birthday and we all arranged to take them for a meal, Jane refused to come because I would be there and said she would celebrate with the person another time, xmas came around and I was the only person Jane didn't get a gift for to the point everyone noticed, I then saw Jane had blocked me online and on her phone.
Went to Janes house to ask what the problem was and as soon as she saw me she started going off at me saying I wasn't allowed to just show up at her house, that I was a fat lazy cunt and she wanted nothing to do with me, in fact she was just waiting for family member one to pass away so she would never have to see or deal with me again and that I need to fuck off and get out of her life. I wished her well in life, blocked her on everything when I got home and that was that.
My issue is why. I have done nothing wrong, pre me 'helping her' we were fine and had a normal relationship, used to go out for meals and a few drinks, as far as I'm aware we didn't have any issues whatsoever, Going off what other family members are saying she refuses to say what the problem is, just that she wants nothing to do with me and I'm dead to her.
I can't change how people feel about me and if she isn't willing to just tell me what it is I have done to get this reaction from her then I would have just got on with my life and never saw her again as that is what she said she wants, The problem is the rest of the family, asking why I FELL OUT WITH JANE, Asking why I can't just put whatever it is behind me, Janes children are now saying the same, that if I'm ever around they won't be there, and other family members are now taking sides and its turning into a huge mess. Its getting that petty that they have now blocked my mum on their phones because she's my mum!
Best way to deal with this/my family? I now have half a family not talking to me for reasons only they know.