Are you or have you ever been in a relationship where you haven't ever lived together and remained relatively independent?

[Welshandsco]

Because I think I'm more suited to these type of relationships and feel happier when I have my own space also. I've only had a couple of relationships but never lived with them and felt claustrophobic when we spent too much time together. Maybe I'm not suited to relationships, but I'd be interested to hear from others like this and did you have to explain to a partner that this is what you wanted?

Been with DP 16 years. Never lived together. Live about 7 miles apart. Have keys to each others houses, but don't often turn up unannounced. We have a DS, who lives with me, goes there weekly. I would feel claustrophobic living with a partner. I don't know why (my parents are still together, happily). For me, it keeps it fresh and fun. The downside is that I do 90% of parenting work.

Same! And yes everyone comments what a cool set up we've got. But think close friends/family have wondered if DP does better out of arrangement than I do, which is fair enough.

This.

Have also noticed people questioning 'if we really loved each other', but I just put that down to people's ideas of romantic love being so defined by social norms. Its also funny as we all know married couples who seem to loathe each other! As if house & marriage automatically equals love?! Lol

I also love to lie around and watch true crime! I'm loving these responses. I also don't like to spend all my free time with a partner... I have family and friends I like to catch up with.

I haven't dated in almost 3 years but have now been asked on a date by someone I've known a long time. Who knows where it might go, but he's also lived alone for years and if it develops this is what I'd want.

What gives you that idea? As several posters have pointed out, it isn’t true.

@emmylousings, what factored into your decision to have a child when presumably there was never a plan to live together? I ask because DH and I lived far apart very successfully for ten years, but started living together in a sustained way when we had our son. I wouldn’t have wanted to be the primary parent. Was that ever an issue for you?

Exactly, that's why u both sign a "contract" the agreement of the marriage and the vows

I've been married for over 20 years, we lived together for the first 10 years and we've lived apart now for nearly 12 years, it's much better and I would never go back to living together.

But certainly not in all jurisdictions.

I'm definitely in a relationship with Netflix! They've got some cracking documentaries on at the moment.

I say go for it!

I'm in one now and have been for 2.5 years. It's been great. But from October we're moving in together. It was probably inevitable. I do have some small regrets at losing my single life but I am becoming v soppy about being with dp more, I miss him loads if he's not around. Also, although ds is at university and therefore still home for vacations, it does feel as if he has mentally moved out and so we have no children left at home to consider.

I've accepted now that I just like being with dp, frankly a lot more than either of the men I previously moved in with extremely rapidly. I'm glad we've had the time apart, it's been lovely.

Just because others posters don't agree doesn't mean we have to automatically change our opinion... I might not be true in your experience, but u simply cannot state it's a fact that it's not true which u are implying.

It is a fact that it’s not true in all legal jurisdictions.

That's an opinion like everyone else has... But if it makes u feel better I'll just state you are correct... Have a good day

I'm in one now. Together for 5 years and live separately with separate finances.
He would like to live together but I don't

It’s not an opinion, for heaven’s sake. Do you want to be linked to the civil marriage contracts in which cohabiting isn’t a requirement? Surely you grasp that different countries have different marriage laws?

This is me too.

Been together 8 years and we are very committed, but I just like my own space. We spend 3-4 nights a week together and are always out/dating. I love it.

Lived with someone for 20 years prior to this - my current set up is so much more preferable.

Never myself but my dad and his partner lived apart for 13 years - only eventually moved in when he retired and sold up. I actually think they worked way better living apart and they have both told me a few times they almost wish they could go back and not sell up

Been with DP for 5 years; no plans to move in together (never had the conversation tbh). We're at different life stages: he's fully retired whereas I have teens, but even when they've gone I still have no plans to live with anyone else. love my own space too much and I suspect he feels the same.
There seems to be a bit of a shift towards not living together, which I think is a good thing (if you can afford it). Too many women, it seems, get trapped into shitty relationships but are unable to leave and living apart eases that pressure somewhat.

I think you should be fine finding a partner who feels the same way. I'm opposite and do like to live with my partner, and finding a man who wants the same has been really difficult. I've met someone now but all previous boyfriends haven't wanted to, and were pretty much horrified by the idea of living together.

I'm doing it right now. Been with boyfriend (I get roasted on here if I call him my partner) for 14 years, long distance relationship (apart from the 1st year) due to his work. I live in one city, he works/lives in another 200 miles away. We see each other on average every 2/3 weeks, usually for 4/5 days at a time, and spend all his/my annual leave together - usually holidays abroad. I'm nearly 55, he's 53, no children between us.

He's quite high up in his job now and loves it. Suffers from GAD and depression, which is well controlled and always has been since I met him. I'm bipolar and have also been physically disabled since I was 17, I do odd bits of freelance work which involve travelling abroad when I can. For the sake of my mental health (and especially as I'm now in the midst of the menopause) I have absolutely zero desire to live with anyone... I have always needed plenty of time on my own. One of his parents (lives in his city) is beginning to show early signs of dementia and he wants to be nearby (he works in a related field).

So the current situation suits us both fine. Neither of us would be shy of telling the other if it didn't.

No I haven't but my god I think this is the ideal for women.

I haven't, but that is definitely my plan for my next relationship as I have DC, one with additional needs, and don't fancy moving a man in with them.

17 years here. I was just divorced and had just bought a house when we met . He is here most nights but goes to his man cave daytime as retired. I sometimes wonder re lack of commitment but then we are together as we want to be not cos can’t financially split

You don't have to live with them even if married!