Does anyone else find it difficult to cry?

[NotaDryEye]

I was brought up in the 70s/80s - stiff upper lip attitude/be strong/just-get-over-it type attitude. I have worked in a typically male-dominated career where tears were not dealt with kindness, understanding or compassion either.

However, I find it very difficult to cry e.g. in movies or with/for other people or funerals. If a friend of mine gets upset or tells me something sad, I give a hug and say soothing words but I literally cannot cry at all. Instead, I get a huge lump in my throat, and even though I want to cry, there is a part of me which pushes it down.

Am I alone in this feeling?

Undergoing therapy, my therapist has said how healthy it is to cry and release the feelings - which I desperately want to do - but don't seem to be able to.

I'm probably a similar age and still find it really embarrasing to cry in front of other people. Would just about do it in front of dp, but not friends. I feel quite bad about it sometimes as I feel really awkward, and it can make you look like you don't care.
When I'm on my own I'll cry over stupid Instagram posts, however.

When a child falls over and cries, my mum will "allow" the child to cry briefly, but if the crying continues, or the child doesn't seem to have a good reason for crying, she accuses the child of attention-seeking in a really judgy way, as if the child is just pretending to cry and does not deserve attention.
It struck me recently that she probably did this to me too. So I tried not to cry as if I did, I was a horrible, naughty child.

When I was younger, I used to cry at anything sad. However, now I'm older I find it very difficult, like I have no tears left for anything. I still have the emotions that I used to have when I cried though - I'm not heartless

I find it easy to cry. I rarely do, but when I am emotionally upset I find loud crying therapeutic and cathartic.

I trained myself not to cry after a fairly chaotic childhood. I can and do cry at things that are completely unimportant like adverts or movies....but I never cry because I'm sad. My emotions get muddled and I usually get cross or angry instead.

This is me ! I genuinely find it hard to cry if upset or sad . When my Mum died very suddenly I just couldn’t cry which really bothered me !
I have only probably properly cried 20 times in my adult life 🤷‍♀️
I actually do get teary watching something like DIY SOS or if I am talking about my children when feeling proud or sad for them but the actual physical tears really struggle.

I think it’s quite normal and not necessarily a bad thing. My darling dad died a month ago. I cried when I got the phone call (shock I think, even though I was expecting it) but no tears since. I read the eulogy at his funeral this week and everyone was crying except me! I reckon the tears will come when they’re ready? I’m not worried. It’s probably my age - at 60 I have a wider range of ways of experiencing emotion than I did when I was younger. How old are you OP?

I also find it hard to cry. I hardly cried after my dad died. I didn't have a great childhood and our feelings weren't really taken into account so I think that might be part of the reason why.

I'm glad you posted this. I'm not a crier by nature. Deaths, funerals, break ups, stressful situations etc... I'm the one consoling other people less affected. I've been told I'm cold and robotic which is totally unfair because I feel the emotions, they're just internalised rather than coming out in a flood of tears in front of other people. I hate how I'm judged for it. Like I don't care. I really do.

I haven't cried for ages and I want to, it can be a real relief when upset. I miss it.

Think it's menopause and other medication related.

I don't usually, but sometimes it's a TV or film moment that triggers me.

I'm not a crier either, I wish I could cry more to be honest as I don't think it's healthy. Came from a lovely warm family and have a lovely warm husband so no situational reason, I just it's just the way I'm built.

Lost my dad when he was in his 40s and me in my 20s, and I cried for about half an hour, although 45 years later I still mourn him.
DM died 10 years ago, no tears but still talk to her in my head.
Been with DH 40 years and he's seen me cry once, when I crashed his new car.
I have emotions but somehow they stay covered up, and I don't know why.

@dexterslockedintheshedagain - thank you for this - i am not heartless either so it reassuring to hear that there are others the same.
@RelaxingClassics - this is me too - I find it a lot easier to get angry or frustrated instead!
@Bowbowbo and @BinkyBeaufort - I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad . Although we may not cry or bawl now, I honestly believe that our love for the ones we have lost is any less.
@Caterpillargirl23 -I am mid 50s and although menopausal - I have never during my life been able to cry freely.
@avocadotofu - my experience sounds very similar to yours and I do wonder if my childhood and that my feelings have either been dismissed or laughed at that has made me unable to cry. Alhtough it is interesting, @yummyscummymummy01 - that you had a secure background but you think it is actually the way you are built - I wonder this about me too!
@Stickycurrantbun - I'm glad you replied to this thread! I can relate as I am also normally the one consoling others. Recently a family member died and a lot of people comment that I must be really 'strong' as I don't cry - but actually I feel very fragile underneath and not a day goes by that I sit and feel sad over their loss.