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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Client

9 replies

Samantha41 · 08/06/2023 20:14

My husband has become friendly with a couple. It started as a business relationship and now is more friendship mostly with the female of the couple.
She has told him everything about the state of her marriage ( her husbands affairs etc) Now this woman is about 10 years older than us and my husband is very friendly with her son.
what I find very odd is when she’s on holiday she sends my husband selfies , and last night when he came home at 8.30 (late) he was signing me to hush. Now I had something important to say before I went to pick our son up but left it as I thought it must be work.
However turns out he was on the phone to this lady as she needed to talk !!!!!! My husband is t there for me emotionally AIBU to think this is weird and why he feels like he needs to be there for her ?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 08/06/2023 20:16

Your husband is playing with fire and I would be having a very serious conversation with him.

solice84 · 08/06/2023 20:20

Id be very pissed off

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 08/06/2023 20:21

Before long he will be helping her out in other ways....

Original poster
Samantha41 · 08/06/2023 20:23

Exactly what I thought !

OP posts:
5128gap · 08/06/2023 20:28

He's got a crush on her. Probably enjoying being the knight to her damsel. Decide what is acceptable to you and tell him clearly where the boundaries are before he goes too far.

recoveryvehicle · 09/06/2023 09:38

You should ask him about her. Ask him how she is. Show concern and sympathy for her problems. Get involved then tell him you'd like to offer to support her if she might need a (female) friend as what's she's going through sounds awful poor woman, blah de blah.

If there is anything going on between them, this approach should damp down any fires between them. If there isn't anything going on between them then you have nothing to lose except a bit of time and energy.

StarGuide · 09/06/2023 12:26

Emotional affair at least.

MsDogLady · 09/06/2023 18:38

Samantha, it sounds like your H and OW are really into this mutual validation. She’s sending selfies and confiding in him, and he’s lapping up being her rescuer/confidant. By over-investing his emotional energy into her, he is putting your marriage at great risk.

They’re in EA territory and he needs to shut this down pronto.

BlastedPimples · 09/06/2023 19:05

Men love this, helping out a woman in distress. Makes them feel like their shoulders are very broad and manly. Pathetic.

It's definitely crossing boundaries and is a big deal. I'd make a fuss

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