Is it unfair not to trust him?

[chocolateaddict231]

Hi,

I hope you're well this evening. I was with someone on and off for three years (me 35, him 39) and he didn't cheat but he didn't give me a lot of reasons to trust him - white lies, hiding the relationship, disappearing when I needed him and hiding things from me. After two years apart and him having a lot of counselling, he has come back promising all the commitment he never wanted before and that he's a new person.

Little things are bothering me and to be honest, they aren't even red flags but Im taking it as a sign I don't trust him, Im analysing things and not liking how he is acting. My gut is telling me to just walk away even though I'm very attached. I don't think he's lying down but the trust simply isn't there so should I walk away?

Married

No, it is not unfair to distrust him. He has not proven himself trustworthy. He didn’t earn trust with you - and words are easy, it’s actions that matter.

if your gut is telling you to leave, leave. Always listen to yourself! I learned the hard way, by making constant excuses in my head for a man’s “a bit off” behavior. Never again!

I agree, please follow your gut and leave. I've just wasted 9 years of my life on my ex, because everytime my gut instinct was telling me something wasn't right I kept talking myself out of it. I have learned the hard way now, he was a liar, cheat and emotionally abusive. I have promised myself that from now on I will never ever ignore my gut instinct. I could have saved myself years ago. Please don't be like me.