Is it too early to ask how he really feels.

[Trundlingalong29]

For context. Partner and I together for 26 years. Split 9 weeks ago, decided to Tey again around 6 weeks ago.
He told me at the time.of the split that he wasn't in love with me anymore yet 3 weeks later he was the one that initiated the conversation about trying again.
I do love him a lot, we have grown up children and a lot of history.
So we've had a few dates, he works so only see him briefly during the week because of the long hours.
We've not been intimate, just the odd kiss and cuddle. I don't know if this is even going anywhere. I just don't feel it from him. We've made such a huge effort within another, talking about the things we know went wrong, how we can try to fix them, move forward.
We have plenty to chat about, laugh about but that's just it.
I don't feel he desires me, wants me sexually. I want to ask him how he thinks this is.going but I just can't find the right words. I want to know if his feelings for me are the same or if they've changed. I have absolutely no idea what's he's thinking at the moment. In all honesty I just want rip all his clothes off 😋
I'm truly scared of his reaction and being rejected. 😩😩

Why are you so scared of him rejecting your sexual advances?

@Watchkeys because he literally told me 9 weeks ago that he wasn't in love with me anymore. I just don't know if he feels the same as me anymore.

No, that's the answer to the question 'Why do you think he might reject you'

I'm asking you about your fears. What will happen to you, emotionally, psychologically, practically, if he says no? What is it about him saying no that bothers you so much?

Yeah, I do think he needs to shit or get off the pot, if you see what I mean. It’s not fair to keep you dangling and hoping while he “dates” the woman he’s been with for 26 years like he’s trying her out to see if he likes her.

DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM unless he commits. That will wreck your self-esteem.

This is someone you've known and been with for 26 years, you deserve to know where you stand. Tell him you feel like he's not attracted to you any more - because if that's the case he's just stringing you along and wasting your time. Be prepared for him to say he's not - and be prepared to walk away. You've already heard the worst but it's only been 9 weeks, for a relationship this long you'll need time to get over it, possibly a long time. Right now it feels like everything is falling apart and you're trying to hold onto anything you can, but you deserve better than this. It's scary and horrible right now though.

I would say though that after 26 years and then messing you around like this - I wouldn't be surprised if there's another woman. It's rare for a man to leave a marriage of this length unless there is someone else involved.

@HeddaGarbled thankyou,.this is exactly how.i feel at the minute. I'm not even going to try and bed him. I just want to know if he feels.the same. Am I being a bit pathetic? Waiting, hoping.

Am I being a bit pathetic? Waiting, hoping

No, after 26 years, of course you’re not 💐

Why did he fall out of live with you in the first place?

Why did he come back 3 weeks later? Is he self sufficient? Or does he need someone to cook and clean for him? Are you doing those things?

Of course you should ask him, otherwise you’re wasting your time, and time is precious.