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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it depression?

1 reply

Anabella321 · 07/06/2023 14:55

DH has never been lazy, he's always pulled his weight at home and did all the outside work as well as any DIY that needed doing. He also put a lot of work into renovating our house to keep costs down.

This year he lost a parent and we had a baby. I've found he seems to resent having to help with our son sometimes, but he's usually OK for short periods with him.

What's even more annoying is that he has become so lazy about himself. He's put on weight in the last couple of years, he doesn't have enough clothes and isn't bothered to buy them (he says he stopped caring during lockdown), he's lazy about getting haircuts and general grooming. I've noticed he will stay in his dressing gown when people visit us which he would never have done previously.

He's also lost his sex drive since the baby has arrived. He hasn't tried to initiate and has turned me down so many times I've stopped trying.

He's become quite self centered in that he doesn't seem to understand that I might need a break, or recognise that I may be tired from looking after an infant all day long. His work and sleep are more important and he resents that he doesn't get to do his weekend hobby as much as he used to.

Is this depression? I've not raised these issues with him because I presumed that he was struggling with the loss of his parent and maybe with becoming a father so I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

OP posts:
Frogger8395 · 07/06/2023 14:57

It’s more likely he confident enough to be his true self now you’re tied in with a baby.

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