Do your parents and in laws hang out?

[thedreamisnotthereality]

I was thinking recently how in an idyllic situation I would love my parents and in laws to spend time and enjoy time together (sadly they dont have a lot in common and just tolerate each other and also live very far away from one another)
Am I too idealistic? Does anybody elses get on and spend time together or just the usual obligational gatherings?

We’ve been together 10 years and both sets of parents only have met twice - both at events for our DC

My Mum and MIL do, and talk regularly on the phone. I hate it, feel like they gang up against us.

I just had a girls night out for my birthday and one of the guests was my son's girlfriend's mum. We share a grandchild but we also share a sense of humour. She is funny and great company.

No. Very different people and a bit of a personality clash.

No. Only for family gatherings involving grandchildren. Out of obligation I would think.

What makes you want that? Mine get on fine at events where they both are but not much in common and it doesn’t fuss me.

My parents are both dead now but I think they met my in laws about 4 or 5 times in total. Once before the wedding, the actual wedding and a couple of other grandchild related events. They had nothing much in common, didn't live particularly close and my Dad took an instant dislike to my MIL so there was never going to be any kind of relationship between them.
My ILs spend quite a bit of time with their other son's ILs though. They live quite close by and both sets of parents do childcare for that set of grandchildren which probably makes a difference. I am not sure if they ever see each other independent of their chikdren/grandchildren but they do all spend quite a lot of time together and it seems pretty harmonious so it is possible.

mine have met two or three times in the 25 years we've been married (first time was at our wedding). DH has a strained relationship with his family (aka they are utterly batshit) and we generally aim to keep them far away from everyone pretty much.

No. Mine have only met once, about 10 years ago.
They live miles apart, and have no common interests.

You are being idealistic.

My mum has met my MIL probably two or three times at most over the years. There is really no common interest between my parents and MIL (FIL now deceased).

Only for family gatherings but they get in great when they do.

Yes - not regularly because they live several hours apart, but they’ve both been to stay with each other both with and without us being there and include each other in birthday/anniversary parties. My sister’s in-laws live much closer to my parents than mine do, and they have each other to dinner etc.

My parents spend time with my mother in law without me and DH, and see a fair bit of my brother’s in-laws (but always with him and his wife there).

It’s always a bit strained. I think DMIL thought that DDad was a show off when he tried to entertain them when they came to my hometown for our wedding. This wouldn’t have been the case, I’m afraid it’s simply DMIL’s insecurities (which DDad would have been oblivious too). All are lovely in their own right but they have nothing in common and rub each other up the wrong way. Luckily they live a long way apart so no damage done.

They didn’t - only met a couple of times. Distance (miles and interests/lifestyles) apart 🤣

Our mum’s speak to eachother - buy gifts for eachother and one sold their car to the other! We also went on a holiday with both. We find one of our mum’s is very giving and the other can sometimes take advantage. It makes us feel very uncomfortable. I much prefer when we are with them vs just them alone.

My parents and in laws have only ever mixed at family events like birthdays and have got along fine, but they wouldn't have been friends without us in common. My lot are a bit too rough around the edges 😂

My mum and MIL are both a bit shy so when they are together, they can get along but conversation doesn't flow brilliantly. Both love in different cities too so no really reason for them to spend more time together outside of DDs milestones

Been with DH 25 Years and our parents get on pretty well. We often all go away together and a few years ago my DP & In-laws went on a road trip through the wine regions of Spain. My parents include them in Christmas and other social occasions. It's really nice. We don't mention politics as they are opposite sides of the tracks .

My mother didn't get on with anyone so that was a no go. My father and MIL got on OK - she was the sort of person who just talks for hours without any prompting, and he was the sort of person who loved to ask questions so any conversation went on and on and on.

In 27 years, they met twice (pre wedding and at wedding) and exchanged christmas cards but nothing more. Lived a good distance apart and had no common interests.

DM died in 2019. MIL and DM (both widows) regularly holidayed together before her death.

Aw, sorry for your loss but that’s lovely!

Yes my in laws and my parents get in very well. Often meet socially for a coffee or a pint.
They have known each other over 20 years. I think it's mostly because me and my husband have been together since we were young teens therefore had our parents communicate, pick us up and drop us off places etc.
I have nice in laws!
My parents also get on with my sisters in laws and my dad and her father in law go out of a catch up from time to time.
I find this is very rare, I am so glad they all get on.

My (mams side) Nanna was a lovely natured soul, very friendly, never commented on anyone or anything, but Grandma (dads side) Mam is a very jealous women and was jealous of my Nanna therefore they never had that relationship. My Nanna was always lovely to her etc but they wouldn't have met up without my parents being there.

Yes quite a lot. We all live in the same town and my parents and in-laws get on well.

We celebrate every Christmas, Easter, birthday meals (for me/DH/our 2 DC) together. Plus a few random meals/BBQs etc during the year (last one was the Coronation) - these will be at either our house, my parents' or my in-laws'. It's not always just us hosting both sides.

If these meals are at my parents' or in-laws' house then usually me and DH take the kids home in the evening and the parents stay.
We've all been on holiday together too.

During lockdown DM and MIL would ring each other for a chat and catch-up.

My Nan lives hundreds of miles away and can't travel anymore, but she speaks to my DH's Nan on the phone for an hour or so every couple of weeks.

My Grandma (dad's mum) lives in the same town as my Nan (mum's mum) and would visits her fairly often for a cuppa and chat.