Rebound hurts mire than divorce

[Cupcakekiller]

Separated from ex Dh 4 months ago, not proud of a month cross over with ex OM. Things have just ended (mutual) and I'm more bereft than things ending with ex DH. Is this common?

I don't think it's uncommon. Perhaps there's an element of the new relationship serving as "proof" that you can move on and love and be loved again - but you're now realising you're going to have to stop and have a period of single life, you can't just smoothly move from one relationship to the next?

In other words, it's not so much about the individual you were with, more what he represented.

Maybe it’s that you hadn’t dealt with whatever the issues were. So now you have double the effect? Plus new man possibly gave you hope?

My uneducated perspective on this is that the rebound makes you feel hope after the other thing ends - like everything is going to be ok - and it hits harder because it rocks that hope. It temporarily makes you feel ‘safe’ at a fragile time and that reassurance goes away when it ends.

I can’t quite think of the right way to put it but you get the idea…hopefully.

Things will get better. Keep your chin up.

Probably because you hadn't felt that excitement and being wanted in your relationship with your husband. All your emotions will have gone into this new tryst just for it to fall at the first fence. When my 24 year loveless relationship came to an end I fell head over heels with the first woman that paid me attention. Sadly it was over within a couple of months which left me totally bereft. It just compounds everything all together. Granted there was no 'crossover' period but I was still accused of having an affair. You need at least a couple of years on your own to rebuild yourself and your life before embarking on any new relationship. It's important to find yourself again!