Exh and school holidays

[hotpeppers]

We have been separated for 2 years. 2 DC between 10 and 15.

Is it normal for the arrangement of every other weekend to continue during the school holidays?

Exh can't look after our DC during holidays because he works. He is self employed.

I work full time (but not self employed).

I'm not sure if I'm unreasonable for expecting more?

@MaxwellCat yeah, you're right. I'm sorry that your ex is so uninvolved. That must be really difficult for you.

Yeah as long as they can get in touch with an adult if need be they will be fine. Both of mine had to spend some of the holidays home alone once they started secondary and the clubs ended. I think my son still did some sports clubs for a year or two in secondary but my daughter didn’t. My son is August born so he was only just 11 when he started secondary but was always fine home alone.

I think it’s unreasonable that he doesn’t ever have them for a week - that’s awful for his relationship with the kids for a start. The usual starting point for co parenting is half the holidays each.

Having said that, I don’t think that there is anything which you can do to force him. My ex has them for 4 weeks in school holidays which I think is pretty poor.

My ex never had mine either in school holidays, he was adamant that he couldn't book holidays in term time.
Strange how a friends husband who worked at the same place could.

My ex has DD pretty much half the holidays now. Didn't at first. Takes her on holiday.

Was a pretty crap dad when he first left. Moved hundreds of miles away. He's keener to see her now she's older. Her, not so much.

Unfortunately there is no normal arrangement, if the non resident parent refuses to have their dc during hols there’s nothing you can do to enforce it. I had similar issue although in reverse when sc were younger where their mum asked dh to have kids during summer hols but although I was at home dh worked self employed so it wasn’t possible. She didn’t like it but nothing she could do, as they got older it was less of an issue obviously

Similar situation. Ex does get paid annual leave but doesnt want to use it for holidays with DC, only for himself and new partner so mainly just does his usual EOW. Fairly sure he goes on holidays with his DP's children! He only works parttime and still doesnt offer to help on his non-working days. Sometimes he will offer at last minute, or if I ask, but he doesnt see it as his responsibility - in fact he often behaves as though he's doing me a massive favour looking after his own children for 'extra' hours. I have to take unpaid leave every year to cover the summer holiday because he won't do his share and use all my leave on DC and have no break for myself. Its crappy but in the end he is only hurting himself as the DC havent failed to notice and he's the one who has no holiday memories with them. MIL also used to have them a bit in holidays but refused when we separated - and now she hardly sees them as Ex is too lazy to take them, so again her loss. But no, you cant force someone to be a decent parent or person unfortuntately.

😂😂😂
my ex is employed part time, only working evenings and refuses to have her in school holidays. I work full time.
in all fairness she does hate going, because she says she feels like he doesn’t want here there.
funny that.