So who <are> these women on porn/sex chat and meet sites?

[Citronella]

I have come to realise that it's almost obligatory for men to visit/chat and even arrange meet ups with these people but how many women think it's a perfectly normal passtime particularly if you are married or in a relationship?

I think its so destructive.

SOme will be having fun, flirting online and looking for dates. Some of them will be sex workers looking for new clients. Others, on the chat-type sites, will be employed by the site owners and will not actually be available to meet their punters.
all of them will consider the man's marital/relationship status to be his business, not theirs. Men are responsible for their own behaviour.

do not think it's normal, no. Decidedly odd, tbh.

I suppose I can't get my head round the fact that the online networking has its main objective as sex. I mean so you meet online, chat, exchange emails and maybe meet. But right from the beginning you know the end objective is sex. If that's all you want is that just the same as selling yourself except for free?
Maybe I'm just old-fashioned.

Citronella, well, no. Wanting sex is not the same as selling it. When you sell sex, your motivation is the money. When you seek sex without money being involved, your motivation is sexual pleasure. Some people are more interested in sex than others. Some people ony want sex as part of a monogamous longterm relationship. Neither way of living is bad or wrong in itself. Deciet in relationships is a different matter.

i wonder just how stupid the men that phone such chat lines are.

I see adverts aimed at men, telling them to call this number in order to speak to a "local girl" have they not noticed there are no numbers given for women to call?

who are these local women and how do the local women know what number to call if it isn't advertised?

seriously, do they think they are actually going to speak with a "real" woman?

Mamazon: well some of the men are dumb and desperate, others are fully aware that they are paying for a fantasy and enjoy it as such. Some are lonely and want to talk (maybe not even about sex) to someone they imagine is a charming and gorgeous woman. Some have unusual fetishes that they either don't feel able to ask a partner to engage with, or their existing partner doesn;t want to know.

They're probably not really women.

Branflake: So what are we then? Lobsters?

madamez do you use them? and if you do, do you ever think the relationship with the person on the other end of the keyboard would develop from sex centred chat to a full blown rl partner relationship iyswim? or are the two just kept separate at all times?

I'm rambling...

CItronella: I work for a chatline company, and the people who call me are aware that it's a fantasy. However I know people (male and female, straight and gay) who use chat websites to find partners for sex (either online or to meet up for dates). Different people want different things: some want sex chat but never to meet face to face, some are looking for a relationship but sex, or a particular type of sex, is very important to them and they want to know that the people they are approaching feel the same way.
Though mostly people who want a full-blown romantic monogamous relationship use matchmaker and dating sites rather than sex-orientated ones (a lot of dating sites ban sex talk or personal ads that are too sexually explicit).

at sex chat line populated by huge, talking lobsters - I have a wonderful mental image - thank you madamez

Madamez - do you have CAT? mind if i bend your ear?

Citronella, your attitude is, frankly, dated.

I am not a bloody commodity, to be "Given away for free" or paid for, I am a person and I make my own decisions. Sex is an activity I enjoy. It's not a chore. If it was a chore to me, I wouldn't do it ever, for free or for all the money in the world.

Neither do I believe it to be sacred, or something that men 'do' to women.

Maybe if you are the "Lie back and think of England" type, you would think of having sex without

a)the security of a relationship or
b) pay

as "Giving it away for free", but I do things because I enjoy them, not as a bargaining tool.

Mamazon: I don't have CAT - how do I get it?

Mamazon, at the risk of souncing a bit crap, I simply don't have a spare fiver this week, but feel free to email me at decadentz (at) gmail.com and I will get back to you

i think you have to pay. if you'd rather you can email me direct

[email protected]

thanks

i have mailed you.
thanks

bloody good post colditz

Colditz,

Thank you for your helpful post. I may sound dated but I'm merely trying to understand. I have been in a monogamous relationship for many many years in which I believed sex was good. Better at times than others due to usual factors such as babies, work demands etc etc. Having found out a few years ago in a pretty insensitive way (he registered us on a chat website and told me about it 2 weeks after i gave birth) that my oh felt it was lacking and wanted to pursue types of sex (fetishes, group etc) that I was a little uncomfortable with. No i am not a 'lie back and think of England' type at all and I made an effort for the sake of my relationship. Ultimately the me feeling under pressure to do stuff I wasn't totally comfortable put a lot of strain on the relationship.

So I'm just trying to understand. Maybe that's a bit more openminded than you think.

well said citronella!!