Should I track him down and contact him?

[RiffRaffBananas]

OK, maybe a bit of an overly dramatic title there.

Last night I dreamt that an old boyfriend (my first real love) had been diagnosed with cancer. I woke up remembering everything, even the dream conversation I was having with his sister.

We dated when I was 17 for 4 years. At 21 I broke up with him, it was nothing that he had done particularly but looking back we both grew up and moved onto different paths. I worked abroad for a short time and when I came home we lost touch. I always look back on that time with fondness and tenderness.

I don’t know why I had the dream but we are both now much much older and the chances of a serious disease is now more likely.

If I wanted, I could find him to see if he is alright but I know I should leave well alone. It was a long time ago. But the dream has brought it all back.

WWYD?

Why not make casual contact? You can include current partners too, a catch up might be fun.

I'm assuming you don't want to date him.

Leave well alone. Your dream was just that and not based on reality.

Leave it alone!

I would make contact

I might snoop on Facebook but I wouldn’t suddenly actually reach out like hey was dreaming about you are you ok 😅

Middle ground- little bit of a snoop on SM?

I wouldn't tell him about your dream if you do get in touch. It would come across pretty odd/ ominous and could land at a really insensitive point say, if he or someone close to him is ill or he's recently lost someone to cancer.

No, I wouldn't contact. Have little look on social media if you're curious what he's up to these days but I don't see any point in contacting. The dream doesn't mean anything.

What’s going on in your life right now that subconsciously you are pining for distant times and loss?

Look closer to home.

Definitely snoop on sm!

Yes. This. The dream has confused me. I am happily married, DH is a gem. My dream has left me thinking about my youth so maybe there’s something in that. But the reality is that we’re all much older now.

Glad to see there are some mixed responses! I didn’t put this in AIBU as I was too scared of the replies 😂

Nope very odd especially since you are married my sister done this with an older friend, contacted her again as she had a "dream she had died" like its suppose to be a compliment ?!

Don't read anything in to the dream. Your brain was working through something and made the story up. Perhaps you're thinking about your youth, and he represents that; perhaps you saw someone who reminded you of him (you wouldn't even register it at the time, but your subconscious did); perhaps you heard of someone who's ill who has a similar name.

What would be your reason for getting in touch? If there is a risk that it's to rekindle feelings of youth, you're on dicey ground. Would you feel OK if your DH dreamed of an old gf and felt the urge to get in touch?

I'd say the chances of him having cancer because you dreamt it are about zero so I wouldn't worry on that score! I'd just look him up on SM and see if he's on there.

It was just a dream. Do you think all your dreams might be true?

I think you're looking for a reason to hunt your ex down, however you might feel about your DH. Just because you're happy, it doesn't mean there aren't things about past relationships you might miss.

My dream has left me thinking about my youth so maybe there’s something in that.

I think the pp who suggested this, and you in the above statement are spot on here. It'd seem this dream has reminded you of a younger, more carefree time where life felt a lot lighter and easier. You experienced fresh feelings of your youth so of course it's going to leave you feeling a little shaken. It haz happeend to me before, and I guarantee in a few days time, you'll not be feeling as sentimental about it.

I drfinitley don't think you should contact your ex. You are married and whatever his situation these days, it might give off the wrong idea, especially as it was you who ended things.

*It has (bloody autocorrect!)

Souls come out of the body when we sleep and touch other souls too, meeting in each others dream.

There is no harm in a 'hello how are you'

I had a dream that a guy from my youth had got happily married. I woke up curious about how he was. He and i never dated, he wanted to, i didn't, we were good friends that drifted apart in early 20s. Anyway, i had the dream about him, did the fb snoop. I did get in touch, but it's always a risk. The presumption is that you're looking to hook up. It worked ok for us, we've been in touch these last handful of yrs, drop each other boring messages every few months. It's nice. It'll never be the friendship it was, but it has that basis or history that makes this infrequent contact seem more. Somehow he's still my old friend.