Feel like I’m stuck in the past

[MaxwellCat]

Can’t date for reasons but can’t help feeling stuck in the past, I feel like I haven’t moved on even though I don’t want to be with my ex I feel stuck in the past unable to start again or meet anyone new. How do you cope with this feeling and not feel like life is passing you by? It’s been 6 years and I’m hearing people getting married and having more children 2 years after a split and here I am 6 years later still alone. I feel like I obsess over my ex and what he’s up to even though we barely see him. How can I stop feeling like this?

Is it possible for you to go no contact with him? Do you have any children together or other ties? If not and you feel you are fixated on him then complete no contact is the best way to get over him. Every time you look at his social media you are reigniting old feelings and memories and not giving yourself a chance to move on.

Yes we have children I’m not on his social media and don’t check it but I do check his WhatsApp

Delete your WhatsApp conversation for starters

Won’t stop it everyone is having babies getting married moving in with new partners and I’m here alone

What age are you op?

Why can’t you move on? How did your last relationship end?

im assuming you thought he was perfect for you and you got dumped?

Have you been on any dates at all? Do you work?

You need to get stuck into something new. That doesn't have to be a relationship, it could be a new job, a new hobby or skill. It could be setting yourself a challenge like running a certain distance, or decluttering your house. The best way to let go of the past is to start moving forward again.

If you can't manage that, and feel unable to move forward I would get a therapist and work it out with them

Early 30s

Yes he left. I can't meet anyone else as he never has the children and I have no family help to be able to meet or date anyone. Babysitters aren't an option as the children have additional needs.

How old are the children?

Are you claiming everything you are entitled to? You can find babysitters on gumtree etc

Do you go to any mother and toddler groups? Does he pay maintenance?

As I said the children have additional needs so can't just be left with just anyone unfortunately (oldest can be aggressive and has challenging behaviour babysitters are just not an option) They are too old for toddler groups my youngest is 6. No maintenance

If you choose to live your life looking back then your life will go that way I’m afraid

have you looked on google for ASN support groups?

life doesn’t need to be as hopeless as this thread

what are your hobbies? Do you have friends to support you?

Yes friends but they are all moving on with their lives getting married having babies moving in with partners why wouldn't I feel sad 🤷‍♀️

Op

why don’t you get some counselling? You are stuck because you are doing nothing to help yourself

instead all you are doing is looking back at your ex and quite frankly wasting your life

A great life does not just land at one’s feet - a person - you in this instance needs to make things happen, what are your goals, aims, career aspirations?

Do you have a holiday booked?

You can always approach your school abs ask if any of the Assistants do babysitting? It’s not unheard of

But just because you go out it doesn’t mean you will meet a man

Why haven’t you applied for maintenance?