I am submitting myself to the wisdom of Mumsnet...
Some months ago I met this guy by pure chance doing a multi-day hike in an area far from where I live. For 4 days we chatted and found out we had lots in common. Really enjoyed his company, and then we went our own ways. We kept in touch with occasional messages.
A month later he was passing through the same place I was temporarily staying for work and we organised another meeting. We spent hours talking, ended up having dinner at a Mexican restaurant and talking and laughing until they closed. I started realising I quite liked him.
Since then he has settled in another town (it was always his intention), managed to find a rental and invited me to come visit anytime. Our messages and chats on the phone have become more frequent and I can't get him out of my mind. Friends of mine say he must fancy me if we communicate so often and he's invited me to stay at his... but our conversations are just as friends, we laugh a lot, but there is never anything romantic said, and my few attempts at clumsy flirting have been met with radio silence or a change in subject. For instance, one of the times he told me he was looking forward to me coming to visit, I replied: "Me too, I have only met you twice but I somehow find myself missing you". No reply for 1 hour. Then his next message was about something he was cooking. ARGH!
Through getting to know him I have found out he is very shy, and he would never had started a conversation with me (an unknown female) unless I had started it. I know he is not gay, and that he has had at least one previous partner he lived with (female). Apart from being in the dark about whether he fancies me, I have not seen any red flags about his character. He seems to be a genuinely good guy, speaks respectfully about his ex partner and seems to be well over her, has a good job, he has similar values to me, he has had his share of tragedy bin his life and I really admire how he has overcome it, he makes me laugh out loud all the time...
I have finally got the guts to organise a visit and I will be coming to see him later this week for 5 days. He has told me several times how excited he is that I am coming to see him and has made lots of plans to do together. Still, all very friendly, not a hint of anything else. I have decided that I need to find out whether he is interested but just shy, or if he is just not interested and only sees me as a friend. So if he doesn't do or say anything, I will have to. I just can't keep fantasising about him like an idiot but with no indication whether or not this is reciprocated. If he likes me, I want to know. And if he doesn't, I want to know too so i can move on and stop obsessing about him.
I know you guys can't read his mind and tell me whether or not he is interested, but I would really love to hear similar stories and how they ended up... especially how you chose to break it out to a shy guy that you fancy them, and whether you ended up together or with a massive dose of disappointment. I am not a shy woman, however I am used to a bit more initiative in guys and his lack of hints is making me doubt myself! Argh!
Whatever the outcome, I promise I will come back to the thread and let you know what happened (or did not happen).
Ideas please! Opinions! Reproaches! Head-wobbles! Whatever but please help me keep my cool until I'm there, and then help me a bit more to know what to do!