I have been with my partner nearly 3 years. I'm a lone parent. He has an adult daughter so no blending situation. We have started talking about moving in together at the end of his lease in December 2024 when we will have been together 4.5 years.
My children like him very much, have an excellent relationship with him and the eldest two spend time with him independently and through choice such as weekends away, going to concerts and sports matches. Youngest gets on well with him and likes him and is perfectly happy to spend time with him
If we go ahead with moving in it will be to my house which is mortgage free and he will pay me a fixed amount per month. I will have a co-habiting arrangement set up through my solicitor to protect myself and the children and partner is in total agreement this is what we need to do. There is no question of mine or the children's financial interests being compromised. Whilst he doesn't own his own home following divorce he is financially comfortable, has savings, pensions and insurance policies and has a good job. Moving to another home together is not a consideration.
I haven't discussed moving in with my children as it's some time away. By the time it happens they'll be 22, 19 and 15. I actually think that the youngest will be fine with it. The older 2 will be at university, with the eldest in their final year and the younger one in their first year.
It has been just the 4 of us for a good few years and they have said before that as much as they love partner they don't want anyone else to live with us. I guess the question is, how do I manage this situation and help them to understand that as much as they are moving forward it's time for me to move forward too.
Obviously, we could continue living apart but with adult, albeit, dependent children I kind of feel they don't get to dictate, but on the other hand, this is their home. For clarity, there are no SEN, not mental health issues etc etc, they just like it being just us for most of the time.