So let me start by saying I know this will sound a bit pathetic since I'm supposed to be a 37 year old professional woman who knows her way around the world of relationships!
I'd recently been seeing someone who had just come out of a 16-year relationship (2 kids, one being hers who he brought up from being 6 yrs). I'd known him for a while but not her and we would say hi now and again but absolutely nothing inappropriate (usually football banter as I met him via a friend of a friend while watching a game). I'd no idea they'd even split up until a couple of months ago when I'd mentioned a date I'd been on and he said something like 'I'd take you out if he doesn't want to'
Then we were both visiting people in the same hospital and kept ending up bumping into each other, so started talking more and to be honest it was weird how comfortable I was with him, opening up about things, and him the same with me even though he admits that usually he doesn't talk about his feelings at all. We then ended up meeting for a drink, one thing led to another, and we spent about a month where he would be at mine almost every night, going on dates, and having the most amazing sex.
His ex though now knows what's been going on, and turns out he's been trying to get her back the entire time, even though she doesn't want him. I've had a few messages from her and she's confirmed that but I don't think I could ever trust him now. He's now decided he wants to be on his own to sort himself out and focus on his son
He knows and admits he's handled things badly, he says he cares about me and he never wanted me to get hurt. But I am hurt. Part of me does want him to come back to me and carry on as before, but it also hurts that we have no relationship/interaction whatsoever anymore. We know we can't go back to being friends and now we don't even speak. He has a big event coming up in a couple of weeks so I may wish him luck then but I'm not sure he'd even reply...
Sorry for the long essay, my head's just a bit confused etc. by it all right now. And that's without the small detail that I'm waiting to take a pregnancy test after we had an accident (no regular cycle so will have to wait a few more days)