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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Own goal ? Or should I be proud of myself ?

27 replies

AnyaMarx · 05/06/2023 21:52

So - I've been single for 4 years and 6 months ago I gave up seeking a relationship. I'm very happy as I am - I've felt happier accepting my lot and not looking for a relationship, sex or a partner . I've got some health issues under investigation currently too. It's become less important tho I've never ruled out a future relationship. Im a social butterfly, like company, so I try not to think that's it for me and im on the shelf !

I've thrown myself into hobbies, friends etc. and im happy .

I'm 51 .

A couple of months ago a friend and ex colleague who I always had a bit of chemistry with contacted me to say his house was on the market , he and his wife were divorcing , would I like to meet up .

We did meet last week , had sex , (not great but ok for a first go ) went out for drinks , but he was tearful and I could see that it wasn't really what he wanted . I advised him to sit down and speak to his wife before things gathered too much momentum to reverse .

Well. He took my advice and contacted me today to say thanks , he had a great time , but he took my advice and they're giving it another go . He thanked me and said what a fabulous friend I am .

I dont feel used , and we wouldn't have dated properly - we embarked on a casual relationship and we were both fine with that .

Im just slightly - I don't know - not affronted , not offended , but feels bloody typical of me ! I've done myself out of company and sex because I had to say something! H was avoiding how unhappy it was making him but he kept getting really emotional when we talked about the split - I just knew it was hurting him and he didn't want the marriage to end .
I've joked to my friend I should start the magic marriage guidance. Company - sleep with me once and I'll save your marriage 😂 - im enough to send you running back to the comfort of your estranged spouse ! I wouldn't have gone anywhere near him if he hadn't told me the house was for sale , they were living in separate lounges, had separate bed rooms , etc .

Im alright with it - just a bit - sort of deflated ? This was the first human company I've had for a long time . And now - it's gone .

He wasnt playing me . He was trying to get out and I suspect get over the mrs by getting over someone else - but it was clearly not working and he seemed so sad I couldn't keep quiet .

So that's me on my lonesome again !

Bloody idiot 🙈

OP posts:
Thisisworsethananticpated · 12/06/2023 08:12

Maybe you need to get out there again ?

and trust me no one want a miserable just split man
no one !

and they would have worked this out regardless of you shagging each other anyway

Thisisworsethananticpated · 12/06/2023 08:25

Ew just saw update
sausage 🤢

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