Staying with ILs

[Veggieabroad]

I'm due to go abroad for my ILs to meet my daughter for the first time in person. They are from the country they live in (I.e not english)

My ILs are lovely and welcoming but when we have visited before we have always stayed in hotels as they can be somewhat intense, however as its their first time meeting their granddaughter we will be staying with them.

They speak little English and although I have been having lessons to learn thier language, my level of speaking is nowhere near fluent.

We are only going for 2 weeks and I know I just need to suck it up...but I'm SO stressed. I breastfeed and DD will be about 6 months when we go so will still be mostly reliant on breastmilk, but I know ILs won't like me BF in front of them. It's a hot country so if baby won't settle I won't be able to walk her outside in her sling which usually calms her down. I feel very anxious about spending all of my time with them but want to get involved with things like cooking...but MIL made fun of the way I cut potatoes last time (?) And it made me feel really self conscious. The language barrier is also stressful.

Any tips? Reassurance? Tell me to get on with it!?

Yes I have a tip…tell them to visit you not the other way round then it’s on your terms and not theirs.

That's what I originally wanted to happen...we were planning on flying them over and staying in a hotel together...neutral ground I suppose. They are reluctant to visit as they have another GC they look after essentially full time (although that GC has grandparents on the other side of the family willing to have them). MIL does have some health problems but that wouldn't stop her from flying.

I'm also worried about travelling with a 6month old on a plane!

Do you absolutely have to go at that time? Can you not wait until a bit older? If you do have to go, I'd insist on staying in a hotel or Airbnb or similar nearby. You can still visit as much as you want but also have the space to yourself to rest and BF.

Yes, my tip is to prepare yourself to eat loads. My mother met her in-laws for the first time after 25 years of marriage (when the old Soviet Union started to open to the West under Gorbachev). They didn't have a language in common and the only way they could communicate was with food. She spent two weeks basically fending off 10th portions of everything. I would translate for her (dad would when he remembered) but direct contact was pushing more food on her.

Seriously very good luck. After this trip I would stay elsewhere for future visits to give yourselves some space.