Want a divorce but don’t want to ruin my life

[HopeG]

My husband can be a nightmare and I want a divorce. If we weren’t married and had a kid and house together I would have left him many times over.

But I do still love him and also don’t want to upend my life.

We live near his family (who are very intense/difficult, and who have been through several divorces before and always side with hubby on pretty much everything!!) and have a LOT of joint friends. My family have never had a divorce in the family so I really don’t know what is involved.

Does anyone have advice on how a divorce could be less antagonistic?

Does he want a divorce? If he does and it’s presented to both families as a joint decision that might reduce conflict.

Not sure i have any advice as my divorce is ridiculously conflictual... But! Joint counselling to negotiate the terms of the split can help to have a neutral place to discuss practical issues.

There's a first time for everything.
Don't think too much about the fallout for everyone else, this is about how you feel within YOUR marriage.
I'm the first in my family to have a divorce, my own parents made it severely difficult for me more so than my exh did. If, God forbid, anyone else in my family now had a split, they'd cope much better and actually be supportive.

You have one life. Trust me your kid wouldn't want to grow up knowing they are the reason you stayed miserable.