The pain of your ex going straight back to their ex after you?

[MoonFace118]

Help! It hurts so bad. We were together for 6 months but it was a very intense and in hindsight, quite codependent relationship. As a very single parent to a teen boy with additional needs I had been single a LONG time before this relationship. And I fell quite hard and fast. Only to then be dumped pretty much out of the blue. Big spiel about how he needed to be single and heal blah blah blah. Then I find out this weekend that he is back with his ex! The way he spoke about her to me when we were together had made me think he wasn’t completely over her. But there had been another ex in between her and me. Now I’ve seen photos of them back together on Facebook through mutual friends and it really fucking hurts. Probably because I haven’t moved on, but then it has only been a month since we split! How do I get over this and stop the obsessive thoughts & comparisons to her. She has open social media which does not help!

Block definitely. I would think the reason it didn't work out the first time around will probably happen again for them. I think you have had a lucky escape he sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. Hang out with friends and family to take your mind off this.

Yes. My husband has hooked up with his ex and we were married for over 10 years.
I too had been told she was a nutter, deranged, showy etc etc.
Perhaps she's the only one who will have him.
I have to see him (we have kids) but I can't bear to look at her. We all live locally.

Oh god your husband, that must of been hard! I feel stupid for having quite so many feelings about it as it was a pretty short relationship! It’s just the intensity of it I think and the fact it was my first in a long time. Kind of feels like that first heartbreak feeling all over again! Which is stupid as I am middle aged. I also had a traumatic miscarriage very early into the relationship which affected me and all I can think is what if they live happily ever after and have kids together and all the things I thought we would have in my little fantasy world 😂 see he spoke about how amazing she was and how he broke her heart because he couldn’t cope with the feelings! So that should have been a massive 🚩 then!

It's shit isn't it 😕.
My ex banged on and on about his ex a lot while we were together. Tbh she didn't seem anything special but every time we went anywhere he had always been there with his ex and had a better time than we'd had 🙄.

She'd dumped him by text ages before we got together but as soon as she found out we were together she started up contact with him. I found out they'd met up but did believe nothing happened. He dumped me and then we got back together later only to break up again. He later admitted to me he'd got back with the ex but they'd only lasted a few weeks. He was still hung up on her though. He's pathetic and I doubt will never properly get over her.

What I'll never understand is the amount of complaining he did over everything. He begrudged every quid in fuel it cost him to get to my house every penny he supposedly spent on me yet we always either went 50/50 or I paid more. Yet he used to drive further to her house and used to pay her bills as she was always struggling for money.

OP just try to have a clean break. He'll always be trying to get back with the ex and it's a waste of your time thinking about it. You need to block/delete everything to do with them and move on asap.

The next bloke I was with also was trying to get back with his ex so it's a common issue unfortunately.

I just can’t stop looking on social media and comparing myself to her even though it is unhealthy! She’s completely different to me and I’m thinking back to all of the little digs he made and wondering if secretly the whole time we were together he was wishing I was her 😔she’s curvy and has big boobs. I’ve lost a lot of weight recently and my boobs are non existent. Just feel really shit and sad about myself and wondering why I’m not good enough!

Disregard him. Easier said than done, think of something else. He, ll be fed up with her soon enough. Not your problem any more.

This happened to me, I met my then partner after his ex had cheated/left him for someone. We dated but then once his ex got dumped herself, she wanted him back. There was more to it but this was the bottom line, he went back.

I was dreadfully heartbroken at the time but I try and remember they deserve each other. Those same problems will still be there for them, in this case he was cheated on and left for. It's no reflection on me. Just as its no reflection on you.

@MoonFace118 I'm afraid this isn't actually anything go do with you or if you're not good enough.

You absolutely are good enough. No question of that.

You simply got caught up in their drama. There will be lots of churn. More casualties getting swept into it.

Please don't take this as a reflection of you.

Block them BOTH
and keep them blocked

as a pp said ‘you got caught in their drama ‘

if you were curvy and she was skinny you’d still feel crap

he clearly woke something in you and maybe you need more of that , but not with him and not when hurting x

Why do you want someone who made digs at you @MoonFace118 ?

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It’s really hard when you’re so invested in a relationship and feel that it’s got a future then you’re dumped out of the blue. Happened to me a few months back. I really struggled at first, couldn’t stop thinking about him. Then work got mega busy as I didn’t have chance to dwell on things. He’s been back in touch lately which doesn’t help as I felt I’d stopped thinking about him so much, now I’ve taken a step back but do feel the balls more in my court now and I’m intending to hold my head high and ive kept any replies brief and not comital. Worst thing you can do is check her social media. I really wouldn’t do that

My ex husband said the worst things about his ex, the mother of their children. She was an absolute nightmare, even punched me in the face once. We split up because of so much stress due to her and life in general. He went back to her a month or so after we split. By the time the divorce was settled he had broke up with her and got back with another one of his exes!
It didn't hurt THAT much for me at the time because I was just thinking how nice it would've been for the kids to have their mum and dad back together (I adored those kids). Still, not a nice thing to happen.