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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help me gain perspective and exit plan

2 replies

HelpMeUnpickThis · 05/06/2023 16:07

Am sitting in the car waiting for pick up of my 2 DC from a post school activity and just wondering if I am crazy to expect a bit more communication through out the day from my DH.

I dropped him off at the train station today and when I got home I sent a text saying - awful traffic, home safe, hope you have a good day.

I went to DC1s swimming comp
at lunch time and sent a text saying - made it, she did great, sorry I wasn’t allowed to take pics but she did great. Hope your day is going well.

I sent another text - picked up both DCs - back on timetable- see you later.

There have been various other
messages from family groups that he has responded to and engaged with.

He has not replied to me at all - I suspect I am muted or off blue ticks as I get no confirmation he has read anything.

I am super aware of being needy but i was just wondering 💭 and keen to hear from others - do you have a prioritisation system? Do you hate texts at work? Do you reply them all later in one batch? Do you hate being texted?

Anti drip feed context

I have been unwell and took time
out of work and also left home to attend residential treatment for a few weeks.
I am not yet back at work and not bringing anywhere near the money I used to into the household.
My husband resents and hates me for this and makes no bones about it.
I am working on my health and job hunting.
History of previous career is it was hard fought for but I absolutely burnt out doing all domestic chores, all pick ups and drops, all sick days, all mental load and also holding down a hugely demanding job - I burnt out completely.

We started at the same level career wise but he now out earns me significantly in a job which involves a lot of international work travel, sometimes at short notice.

Additional info:
Since I have been at home things have been a lot smoother domestically and he likes this.
I facilitate his job - there is no doubt about that.
I hate not earning my own money.
He hates me for not earning money, I am talking proper unbridled contempt.

I know he hates me but I don’t know how to get out.

Sorry this is long I just wondered if anyone can help me unpick this, or suggest how to move forward.

OP posts:
worktired · 05/06/2023 18:02

He clearly isn't wanting to engage with you OP. He sounds like a complete arse & you definitely need an exit plan.

I suggest you gather all relevant paperwork & get some legal advice about separating.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/06/2023 18:05

Get divorced. As soon as humanly possible.

Once there is contempt in a marriage, it's over. Refuse to pander to a man who openly has contempt for you.

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