What to expect?

[namechanged052023]

I'm planning to leave my husband. There have been a lot of issues and you can see my recent thread for the latest. It's too much, I've had enough.

I just have no idea what to expect or how to do it. There are no kids involved. Part of me just wants to run away but I know I need to do it properly. How would I even tell him? I'm scared of his reaction. I think it will come as a shock to him, we've been seemingly happy lately, he could accept it fine but he could also be really nasty, I couldn't predict how he will be.

How do assets get split when you divorce? We're lucky in that we have three properties in total, the one we live in, two rentals and we own a relatively successful business together. I don't want anything from the business but would love to keep our home if possible, but who decides that? Would I have to get him to agree?

He also has said in the past he would do things like trash the house if we split up, so it would cost me too much to repair and I couldn't have it. That'd he rather have nothing himself if it meant I'd have nothing too because he could rebuild easier than I could (I'm only on a low wage). Legally can he do that? Is there any protection for me from things like that?

Also, what can I do about the dogs? We have two but can't split them up. Am I allowed to just take them with me, or will we have to have joint custody? Or should I leave them seeing as I'm the one leaving? Even if we do have joint custody of them, can I take them the first night or not?

I've not read your previous threads OP, so I'm not sure of the reasons why you want to split or why you may think he could get nasty. But any behaviour that suggests this might happen, then you're absolutely right to want to leave

Sorry to be boring, but your first port of call must be a solicitor. Nobody on here, even legal professionals, will 100% accurately be able to predict what will happen re assets. There's just too many unknowns, ie length of marriage, who owned what prior to marriage, morgages, deposits etv. It could well be a straightforward 50/50 split or it may be far more complicated than that. For example, you say you jointly own a business but later say you're on a low wage, suggesting you're employed elsewhere too.

I hope you manage to disentangle yourselves with as little nastiness as possible but if you truly are afraid. Please contact some place like Women's Aid for advice on how to leave safely. Good luck 🌸

@Gingergirl70 would I just ring up a local solicitor and tell them I want to get divorced? I can appreciate no one can really advise me without knowing the full ins and outs. I'm not employed elsewhere, but I would have to leave my current job in our business and get a new job, I'm basically just admin/office staff, so I'd be on just a bit more than minimum wage really.

Most local family law solicitors would offer a free initial consultation. They would tell you what next steps are if you have definitely decided to leave the marriage.