For context: Together for 17 years, very affectionate and equal relationship, no financial concerns, my DD grown up and left home. Tough jobs but regular hours, decent pay. Healthy lifestyle and very small social circle, spend most leisure time together. I am mid 40, he is early 50, both fit and healthy. Last summer he proposed after all these years, so this should have been a romantic year, the wedding is a while away yet. All you need for happiness and yet…
DP seems to have gone off me. He kisses and holds me etc all the time but does not initiate sex. Dry spell for a month. I know he has a regular “me time” when I am out of the house, so it’s not ED. Thinking back to the last year, it’s always me who takes initiative and he always complies and we have a great time. But it has not dawn on me until this weekend that it has become always me. We have spent the whole weekend at home, lots of opportunities and he just went from doing one thing to another, except me ☹️.
There is not AW, there is no change in his behaviour. We have become friends without benefits. He will not talk to me about this, however, gently I ask, he will clam up, or tell me I am imagining it all and a pity shag, or worse may actually confirm that he is not attracted to me. So, what do?
I want to get things right between us, I do not want to get married on auto-pilot, I do not want to lose what we have, waste all these years, but equally it’s not fair to feel unwanted like this. There is nobody I can’t talk to about this either, so may be overthought this a lot.