A good/normal relationship does not have ANY physical violence in it. Nor does it include threats, nasty name calling, repeated accusations of infidelity or any other toxicity.
A healthy relationship would look like someone saying “I’m concerned that you’re getting a bit too close to X person and it’s making me feel jealous/insecure” etc and the other person saying “oh darling I don’t want you to feel that way, I have to spend time with them for work/hobby etc and I enjoy their company but I 100% don’t want anything more with them because I love you. How can I help you to feel better about the situation?” And it wouldn’t be ongoing.
Nobody would be throwing anything or screaming, nobody would threaten to leave, or call the other person names or blame them for something they haven’t actually done. He is most likely projecting because he’s cheating on you. That’s what they do. Whatever he accuses you of. That’s him. Psycho. Cheat. You name it.
I’ve had relationships like yours and believe me they don’t get better. They get worse. The first one did try to kill me. It started with a little squeeze of the hand. A bit too tightly. Telling me what I was wearing was unsuitable, a little push, “just jokingly” of course. It ended with him pinning me down on the bed, strangling me so hard it left hand prints on my neck and wrists, and then biting my face, leaving teeth marks. Luckily my screams woke my housemates who were able to get him off me.
The more recent one started with throwing things or kicking them over in anger, but just things that wouldn’t hurt so of course “I had no reason to be scared”, a scrunched up ball of paper thrown in my face, a bin kicked across the kitchen. Refusing to leave when I was scared of him, me calling the police to get him out of my house.
It’s not normal and it’s not healthy but I stuck with it for years for the “good times” (most of which were tainted by being called a C* on every holiday and special occasion), being called mental every time I got upset about anything, me having panic attacks when we argued because he was so awful to me, but then he’d end up comforting me, almost like he wanted me to be upset so he could be the hero and make me feel better. It was an absolute rollercoaster. But not healthy. Not by a long way.
You need to see that this dynamic is most likely making you very anxious and clingy, desperately trying to prove to him that you are worthy while not realising that he is not worthy of you. You can’t change him, if he wants to change he will have to do it on his own, as he has no incentive here. He knows he can say and do anything and you’ll put up with it.
But you also need to change because throwing things - even cushions - and screaming is not ok. I know these people can drive you to behave in toxic ways yourself, but be better than him. And find someone else who doesn’t make you feel like that. This one is a dud.